Darwin Award

A thong wearing idiot tried to blow up an ATM in Australia’s Northern Territory. The impact of the explosion blew him out of his thongs.

Another Fine Mess

You know what I hate? When you are out shopping and a septic tanker explodes covering you in poo. I really hate that. Several Chinese shoppers were given a feces shower after a septic tanker went kaboom. One shop owner was traumatized after all of his merchandise was covered in the stinking brown liquid. A spokesman said the crap came from public toilets. Good to know.

Loon on Vacation

Resuming regular broadcasting tomorrow.

RIP Joe Cocker

Singer Joe Cocker passed away today. I hope he gets a good bye with a little help from his friends.

North Korea’s Internet Down

Oo Oh, don’t mess with the US, Pongyang, or your internet might go poof!!!North Korea is currently suffering major internet outages following their hacking of Sony and Obamas threat to respond. OMG, I hope Kim Jong Un doesn’t have to restart Candy Crush, that would be a bitch. This may be the start of cyber attack wars. Dear lord, can you back up Flappy Bird?

To Sir With Love

Oh dear, guess what happened when a group of schoolgirls went on a five day school trip to Sarajevo? Seven of the 25 girls got pregnant. The girls, aged between 13 and 15, were suppose to be visiting historic sites and museums but must have been visiting more than just that. Despite the parents demanding an explanation the school is blaming the parent for not educating their kiddies better.

It’s the Season To Regift , Fa Lalalala Lalalala

Woohoo Loons, you only have four days to Christmas, you better get your regifts ready.  Make sure you don’t leave any tell tale signs.

Here’s a idea for those stumped at what to regift ..

 

Village of the Damned

Goodbye now

Hey, its the 1980s calling and they want their hysteria back. Seems a village in China are so worried about a child who was diagnosed with HIV they have signed a petition to have him removed. The petition reads in part “Kunkun is diagnosed with AIDS, causing great fear among the villagers and village children. In order to ensure the safety of villagers and children, we demand that authorities quarantine Kunkun for treatment,”

PSST Even his grandfather signed it.

Granny Isn’t Everyone’s Friend

It seems in Florida when you get denied as a Facebook friend by your grandma it is customary to go slap her face (multiple times). OK, maybe not, but someone didn’t get the memo. A woman who tried to befriend her granny got angry when her request was denied. Seems granny wasn’t impressed with her Facebook moniker and refused to accept her until it was changed. That is when the slapping began and the assault charges followed. I’m guessing Christmas is going to be awks.

Happy Christmas From Claudius Too