Monthly Archives: January 2015

A Vacuum Cleaner Story That Doesn’t Suck

Worst nightmare – a vacuum cleaner salesman doing a demo at your home. Well, not for autistic vacuum cleaner obsessed teen Dylan Greene. His dream came true when his mom contacted Kirby vacuums (Dylan’s fav ) and organised a live demo for his birthday. Dylan’s love of the dust sucker means he spends hours a day watching videos about the different Kirby’s. After the salesman went through his sales pitch Dylan was given a brand new Kirby.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Second Child Bursts into Flames

richard-simmons2Remember the Indian woman who claimed her baby kept bursting into flames and blamed it on spontaneous combustion? Hmm, yeah well, she is back, and claiming her latest baby is suffering the same prob. Her first son randomly burst into flames from the age of 9 days to 2 months with doctors unable to determine WTF. The mother claims her newest addition (who is also 9 days old ) was in the bathroom when his feet suddenly caught on fire. The infant will be monitored from the safety of the hospital while the mother is accessed for Munchausen. While most are pointing the finger at the mother, some have suggested the cause could be phosphorous in the family house. Several homes in recent years  have burned to the ground thanks to the highly flammable that is often used in buildings. Hmm, yeah, really?

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

The Show Must Go On

A news reporter continued talking to camera despite a guy getting cleaned up by a moped behind her.

PSST  No one was hurt, other than dignity.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Children’s birthday parties are so over rated

student 3 A 5 year old who was a no show at his friend’s birthday party was handed a bill for failure to show. The party, which was at the Ski Slope and Snowboard Centre, averaged out at about $40 a head. The kid had RSVPed he was going but later opted to spend the day with his grandparents after realising his parents had double booked . The father claimed they had no contact details to let the snowflake’s mother know his son would no longer going to be attending. The “No Show” invoice was left in the kid’s schoolbag. On the bright side he wasn’t charged VAT. The mother is now threatening to take them to small claims court if they don’t cough up.

PSST Seriously? First world problems love.  Kiddies should have been made to pay in advance if you had no show concerns.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Ouch!

A Kiwi man walked into a petrol station with a rod protruding from his head. The owner’s first thought was it was a prank but unfortunately it wasn’t. The guy told police he was sitting in his parked car when kapow, he was struck in the head with the rod. One of the witnesses who saw him walk in asked him ‘Is that a drum stick in your head? To which he replied, ‘Nah, it’s a rod.’

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt

Grateful Dead

Question 3A South Carolina woman contacted police this week to file a missing persons report on her son. …who has been missing since 1995. Her son, who was 18 at the time, hasn’t made contact since  he left home to follow the Grateful Dead twenty odd years ago. The band’s last tour was in 1995 due to the death of Jerry Garcia.

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Filed under Well I Never

At First You Don’t Succeed

naked-manFor crying out loud, how much scorn does this woman possess? A wife who snipped off her hubby’s penis with scissors after she caught him cheating has chopped it off AGAIN after surgeons reattached it. Yep, angry Feng Lung sneaked into the hospital room and chopped it off again and then threw the offending appendage out the window. Unfortunately for hubby a search by police and doctors failed to find his penis . It was suspected a stray cat or dog took off with it. The hubby’s lover, who had visited him in hospital, said she didn’t care he was missing his willy as he has 5 children anywho. As for Feng, she is under arrest….again.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

Bus Catcher

A very impatient Seattle dog can often be found catching the bus by herself to the local dog park . The black Lab called Eclipse is a regular on public transport and usually takes a spot at a window seat so she can see when to get off …at the dog park. Her owner often accompanies her but if he dawdles or is late, Eclipse will simple catch the bus by herself. The drivers are use to the urban dog making good use of public transport.

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Vile Bile Beer

doctor_rushing_patient_on_gurney_lg_whtIf you are in Mozambique and someone offers you a slip of their traditional beer from a shared keg, just say no. There is a likihood it is contaminated with crocodile bile which is deadly. Evidently the bile Beer was passed around at a funeral over the weekend putting nearly 200 in hospital and 69 in the morgue. A very busy funeral director.

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Filed under Friggin Gross, Well I Never

Hey, Has Anyone Seen Al?

A man who worked for India’s Central Public Works Department was given the sack after he failed to show up to work…. for 25 years. The dude went on leave in 1990 and never came back but was still on the payroll. Despite numerous efforts to get the man back behind his desk , he refused and kept requesting extensions of leave. Hmm, I don’t think he cares now, he is eligible to retire.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious