Grab It And Run You Little Snowflakes

Watch what happens when these little Japanese snowflakes are confronted with a dropped wallet. Seriously, try this in Oz … wouldn’t see them for dust.

Fairytale Fail

A cow who realised he was heading to the Cincinnati slaughterhouse decided to make a run for for freedom. He took off down the main drag with the golden arches in his sights. He was nearly at McDonalds when he was shot down in a hail of bullets. Oh well, no Big Mac and fries for him.

Crime Doesn’t Pay

A Seattle burglar must be kicking himself . The loser broke into a car and stole a pair of glasses. What he didn’t know was the lottery ticket underneath the glasses was a $1 million winning Powerball ticket.

 

It’s Alive, It’s Alive

Whoopsie, seems the US military made a boo-boo. Hmm, they didn’t quite radiate their anthrax enough and sent “live” samples to Maryland and South Korea labs. The samples, which were suppose to be dead were friggin still active, and now workers are going full out Silkwood.

We Aren’t In Kansas Anymore

The big question gripping Australia today is should the government allow the wife and 5 children of Australian Islamic State fighter Khaled Sharrouf to return to Oz? Given the fact that the mother went to extraordinary lengths to smuggle the kids out of the country to join her jihadist hubby and then allowed him to let one of her children hold up a severed head , I’m kinda leaning towards ….NO. These children have witnessed unspeakable horrors, thanks to their fanatical parents, and more than likely carry their parents views. As sad as the situation is the parents should be accountable for what they have done. Just because YOU have decided that the lifestyle is no longer to YOUR liking doesn’t give you a free ticket to return. Why should we allow you a comfy platform to spread your hate. You haven’t renounced the atrocities your husband (and probably you) has inflicted, you haven’t renounced your extremist views, you haven’t left your husband , you let your teen marry a IS fighter and god know’s what the others have endured. Sorry, no vacancies.

ToiletGate

Oh dear, it seems Germany has a disgruntled government worker with sticky fingers (no pun intended) or someone with a severe lavatory fetish. Toilet seats in their new interior ministry have gone missing. Yep, the thief removed every single toilet seat , tap and loo paper holders in the building. Two months prior all the taps from the new BND intelligence agency’s headquarters were nicked, which started leaks throughout the building and caused millions of dollars worth of damage. Hmm, you would think they ‘d  have security cameras. Hello….man carrying uber toilet seats under his arm…suspicious!!!!!

 

Nepotism Ruining It For Terrorists

The one job where you’d think nepotism wouldn’t be frowned upon….suicide bombing. Hmm, but apparently some IS fighters are pissed they have to wait their turn because some militants are putting their family and buddies at the head of the line. The big whingers are the Chechen IS fighters, who are bitching about having to wait in a long line before they can kaboom themselves to kingdom come. In fact some are so fed up with favourtism they are heading to Iraq where the martyrdom bombers list is considerably shorter. The waiting time is currently about 3 months.

PSST I’m guessing they are worried they will run out of virgins.

Just Messing With Ya

Last week Islamic State websites hinted at stirring up the West by doing a series of hoaxes to create delays and disruptions to air travel. Well, it seems they fell hook, line and sinker. Yesterday authorities received anonymous threats about chemical weapons and bombs being placed onboard at least five New York bound flights. Enter fighter jets. An Air France flight was escorted by fighter jets and forced to make an emergency landing at JFK. American Airways, Delta and a Saudi Airlines flight were also affected.

Dog Gone

Attention upstate New Yorkers, there is someone in your neighbourhood collecting dog  brains . Yes, you heard me BRAINS. Might want to do a head count of your pooches. Nine of the brains were found lying near the Gouverneur railway tracks. A local vet confirmed the brains had been carefully removed and had been preserved in formaldehyde. That is a bucketful of creepy right there.

Alligator 1, Truck 0