Two British fire crews were dispatched after word got out a cow was roaming around with a plastic lawn chair stuck on its head. Awks. Don’t fret loons, the embarrassed bovine managed to remove the offending furniture by itself.
Monthly Archives: August 2015
A Chinese woman has a 5 inch horn growing on her head. I have no words.
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Banksy, you are friggin awesome
You are at the airport and are about to board a plane when the airport security stop you from taking a bottle of expensive cognac on board. What do you do loons, what do you do? Well, if you were the woman with the Remy Martin XO Excellence cognac you damn well scull it, that’s what you do. Yep, she chugged every last drop, rather than see any go to waste. Unfortunately, her rash action went straight to her head and she was found yelling and screaming on the floor near the boarding gate. Yep, legless. Enter wheelchair that carted her off.
Top 10 Funniest Jokes from the Fringe Festival 2015:
1: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free” – Darren Walsh
2: “Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West” – Stewart Francis
3: “Surely every car is a people carrier?” – Adam Hess
4: “What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” – Masai Graham
5: “If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go” – Dave Green
6: “Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” – Mark Nelson
7: “Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” – Tom Parry
=8: “The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” – Alun Cochrane
=8: “Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” – Simon Munnery
10: “They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…” – Grace The Child