Ram Raid Fail

OMG guys, seriously?  You had a friggin car, two lorries and a forklift truck, and you still couldn’t manage to get the ATM. Get a real job.

Special Delivery

You know what I hate? When you are minding your own bee’s wax then…kaboom… a friggin 24lb bundle of weed crashes through your carport roof and nearly kills your pooch. OK, it missed the dog but crushed his kennel. Still kinda hate that. Police suspect someone accidentally dropped the marijuana from an aircraft a little too early.

 

How Did I Miss This?

PSST…. Everyone Still Here?

It’s the 28th loons… day of the Blood Moon Apocalypse….just seeing if you are all still here.

Airline Failure

You have a uber time in Hawaii, you get on plane, find your seat and get ready to make yourself comfortable when you reach for the blanket in the seat back pocket and then ….. oh …ewh… WTF? A couple on a United Airlines flight were more than just horrified when they discovered that a sick bag full of vomit had been wrapped in a blanket and put in their seat pocket. When they handed it to the flight attendant the vomit spilled on them. Despite being offered different seats they spent the entire flight smelling of someone else’s upchuck.  Oh dear lord, I think I would want to pass on the inflight meal. The airline apologised on behalf of the lazy bastards who failed to clean the plane prior to take-off.

Activewear

It’s an Aussie craze that has superseded the trackie dak/uggie combo….woman wearing activewear

Statistics Alert

So far this year more people have died from selfie related deaths than shark attacks, in a 12 to 8 win for smartphones.

Barbie Can’t Play Today She Has PMS

Barbie’s being a bitch, I think I might just walk the dog

Oh for the love of…. seems Barbie has jumped onto the feminine hygiene bandwagon by offering a “period party” accessory kit that includes “one educational pamphlet, one pair of panties to fit Lammily doll, 18 reusable coloured pads and liners stickers and one calendar with dot stickers”. Thank god there aren’t any tampons…just saying.

Why God, Why?

Oh dear god, the questions people ask of the almighty on a monthly basis ….

Pointless Special

This is a bargain down under…. especially considering we don’t have 1 or 2 cents any more so it  will be rounded to nearest dollar making it…$20.