It Wasn’t ME

OMG, parents can be so humiliating and kids so gross.

Way to Get Suspended

A Filipino priest got himself in some hell fire by the Catholic Church after he was busted giving a Christmas service on a Hoverboard. Evidently, it was a violation of the ‘highest form of worship.’ The coolest priest ever,  has now been suspended so he can have time to reflect on his ungodly behaviour.

Toking Token

The homeless in Denver were living the high life (pun intended) for Christmas after a nonprofit organisation handed out free marijuana cigs to them . Ho, ho, ho. Evidently thousands of rolled joints were given to the homeless to raise awareness of homelessness in the city. Hmm, yep that will do it. The Cannabis Can group are hoping to raise enough money to buy RVs ,that are decked out with loos and showers , for people living on the streets to use.

Get Flocked

An Oregon man was so pissed off at the Tax department he did the only thing a god-damned pissed off Oregon man could do….. he released 6 equally pissed off chickens in the lobby of the Department of Revenue’s office. No one is quite sure what the tax department did to set off the chain of events but I can tell you the Humane society is now equally pissed at recieving the homeless chooks “This time of year definitely in our cattery and our kennel we’re full. We are now full of chickens as well,” Fa lalalalala la la la la

Skittles Pawn

OMG, I love this guy. A pop up pawn shop in Canada is offering Skittles in exchange for your crappy Christmas presents. Yep, it’s true….Skittles.

PSST  There isn’t enough Skittles in the world for the crap I got…..just saying

 

Christmas is Ruined

When your elf falls from the shelf there is only one thing you can do…. dial 911 of course. The 7 year old was playing around in the house with a ball when it hit the elf and he plummeted to the ground.  As little children know, it is forbidden to touch an elf, or the Christmas magic will leave the home so she called the cops for assistance. Unfortunately, the whole incident escalated when the police arrived at the door, despite her pleas not to tell her parents, and found the girl in hysterics believing she wouldn’t get anything for Christmas. Hmm, first world problems.

Merry Christmas

To all my blogger friends I would like to wish you all a Merry whatever you believe. Please stay safe over this mad season and be kind to people.

Knit One , Poo One

A British granny , who went to the loo at a shopping centre , didn’t realise they weren’t in operation and got locked in for four days. Luckily for the 82 year old  she had just bought a ball of wool so she spent her time knitting a scarf for her granddaughter. She also had a nice supply of  imperial mints to keep her spirits up. When shocked  workmen  eventually found her she was merrily knitting away. She did confess that the hand dryer came in handy at night to keep her warm.

Dumbass Bro

When  a New Zealand customer decided to knick a tip jar after purchasing a meal  at a local fast food joint he scored a grand total of $6.77. Unfortunately in his haste he left his $9.92 meal behind. Loser.

How Could You

You had one job… announcing  the winner of Miss Universe. Now you have the awks task of announcing your boo boo to the world. Good luck with that.