Winning!!!!

Stand up and take a bow Nev Sharp. The Aussie just broke the world record for loudest burp. Yep, his belch reached over 110 decibels. In response Nev said “It’s been a bit of a goal from when I was a kid,” …. “I’m always training.”

Right Under Their Noses

Ingenious. A man found the perfect disguise to steal TVs from Walmart. He dressed as an employee. Brilliant. Wearing a blue Walmart vest he went to the stock room,  loaded 4 flat-screen televisions onto a cart and simply rolled them out into the car park where an SUV was waiting. Too easy. After viewing CCTV footage management couldn’t identify the thief

Cockatoos Hate Round Cages

Flossie Don’t Fight It, She Lives It

Flossie Dickey is turning 110 but she would prefer to be napping or swigging whiskey than talking to a news reporter.

 

Hitler Was No Ladies Man

Oh dear lord, a group of historians believe they have uncovered another reason why Hitler became such an abomination. Seems he had a micro penis along with an undescended testicle. Which would explain why all the hyped up rumours that a flying piece of hot shrapnel sliced his testicles during the Battle of the Somme in the WWI. The condition , known as penile Hypospadius, meant he most likely peed from a small hole at the base of his penis. Hitler was known to have an aversion to being seen naked and fortunately never produced any offsprings.

We Are Not Alone

Worst fear realised ….. aliens have even worst taste in music than Earthlings. Astronauts on the Apollo 10 mission reported hearing weird music while orbiting the dark side of the moon in 1969.  Thanks to the lifting of classified NASA files in 2008 and a TV doco NASA’s Unexplained Files, we can collectively go WTF!!!! The recordings were made and transcribed during the time Apollo 10 was temporarily cut off with earth during an orbit of the dark side, the astronauts can be heard saying “You hear that? That whistling sound?” “That sure is weird music,”.

Hello, Is That 911?

Montana police rushed to a family house after neighbours reported hearing loud shouting, screams and gunshots . Police set up a perimeter around the house and drew their weapons before approaching. What they found was truly disturbing…. a family sitting around their TV watching the mid-season premier of Walking Dead.

 

Don’t Shoot The Ref, Argentina

A soccer player in Argentina was so peeved at getting a red card during a match, he stormed over to his bag, got his gun, returned to the pitch and shot the ref dead.

Sex Cancelled Due To Cannibalism Fears

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How did I miss this Craig?
OMG, poor Kong saved himself a bucket load of embarrassment after the Seattle Aquarium cancelled his Valentine’s Day mating session in front of visitors. Yes, every year on Valentine’s Day people can view octopus sex. Yep, you heard me, octopus sex. Tentacles thrashing everywhere!!!! But unfortunately for Kong, he was too big for the lovely lady octopuses and staff  feared Kong might eat them, as he is more than double their size. However, there was relief all around as  Kong lived to see another day…. evidently an octopus dies soon after sex. Go Kong!!!!

Fruit of the Loon

Banana man closed down a council meeting in Melbourne after he started handing out bananas. Evidently, Banana Man was protesting against the Mayor using a council vehicle to visit the Big Banana at Coffs Harbour during the Christmas break. In response the Mayor stopped the meeting and Banana Man split.