Meanwhile in the UK a Bristol postie is threatening to stop delivering mail to an address because the cat Bella snatches the mail from his hands…that is a “potential hazard” right there. The owners have created a makeshift post box outside their house so the postie’s fingers are no longer at risk. Did someone say Nanny State?
When your neighbour’s pussycat gets stuck up a 40ft tree for 12 hours and you can’t afford the cost of an animal rescue service why wouldn’t you set up a crowd funding campaign. Four hours later and $205 raised, Boots, the orange tabby, is now back on solid ground. Sleep easy animal lovers, one less cat to worry about.
It use to be an urban legend you would tell visitors to Australia…careful of the Redback on the toilet seat. But alas for one unlucky dude it has become a reality. A man in Sydney was bitten by the venomous Redback spider while taking a leak in a portaloo …wait, there is more…. he was bitten on his penis. OK loons, I know what you were thinking , he was either sitting down (which is uncool) or he was standing up (which makes it awfully big). Anywho, I digress. By the time paramedics had arrived, the man had wisely made his own way to hospital where he was treated for swelling, pain and the humiliation. No word on the mental state of the spider.
Take a bow Brickyard pub in England. Every woman who has ever had a horror date applauds you. The pub has a sign inside the female toilets suggesting an exit strategy for extracting ones self from a bad date.
PSST You kinda wonder how many of these they dealt with before sticking up the sign?
You know there is nothing more awks than having to be rescued by the US Coast Guard in your bubble…AGAIN. Come on dude, endurance running in your hydropod from Florida to the Bermuda Triangle is a pipe dream. Give up, it’s not going to happen, get a day job, find another hobby, try land. Naww, and you get a $40,000 fine. Life can be a bitch.
This is going to end in tears…
What do you do when a 10ft statue in your town keeps having it’s appendage stolen ? Hmm, build a removable one, that’s what. Yep, the statue of Hercules in Parc Mauresque will now have a detachable penis. Problem solved. The penis will only be used during ceremonies and special occasions. Take that vandals!!!!
You know how I just love a good burglar story. Introducing our dumbass burglar of the week award. Stand up and take a bow the dude who, while attempting to rob a second hand store, spilled a tin of white paint and then proceeded to walk through it. The sound you just heard was my palm slapping on my forehead. It took police a matter of minutes to find your silly white foot trail that lead straight to your door. Oh the humanity!
A hotel in New Zealand has had enough with unsightly bulges and has banned customers wearing Lycra bicycle shorts. Yep, enough. Management said “when you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Fair call.
A stunt owl who was hired to deliver rings at a wedding ceremony decided to make a run/fly for it but didn’t count on there being a window in his escape exit.
PSST Don’t fear animal lovers, Max the owl was fine, just a nasty headache.