A kid from Philly got a nasty letter from the “The Offices of Tooth and Fairy, LLC — Tooth Adjusters,” re- payment of fourth molar.
Here it is in full.
Thank you for the return of your fourth molar. Here is payment upon receipt, the agreed-upon sum of $5.00 (five American dollars).
By leaving your tooth out for one of our Tooth Adjusters, you, the toothee, have entered into a contractual obligation to perform measured work, herein known as Chores. Please see the attached addendum for an updated list of these chores.
We have been notified by your Parental units that these obligations have frequently gone uncompleted, and often have to be requested multiple times before they are, in fact, done. If these obligations are not fully completed, without demand, in the specified time frame (every day after school or camp), we will have no recourse but to repossess all of your remaining teeth, by force if necessary, with no repayment to you.
The most comfortable solution for all three parties involved (Tooth Adjusters, Toothee, and Parental Units) is for you, the toothee, to do your Chores as expected, on time, every day. Do not make us come and take your teeth.
The Offices of Tooth and Fairy, LLC — Tooth Adjusters”