There are numerous things you can do with a wedding ring but slipping it on your penis is not one of them. Just ask the Chinese dude who had his stuck for two days. The pain became so unbearable he had no choice but to ring firefighters. It took 90 minutes and a bucket of humiliation before the gold band was cut off. Unfortunately for him, footage of the incident has been making its rounds on social media.
PSST I know what you are thinking Loons but I’m
guessing hoping the ring was a man’s extra large.
What’s worse than having your house ransacked? Coming home to find the burglar’s on the couch having sex. Sheez, get a room. In the unfortunate owner’s words… “It’s like they just had a big ol’ nasty party.’ Worse still, while the owner was a way for a few days the burglar couple were seen flogging her jewellery. She has since set up a GoFundMe page which has managed to raise $10.
PSST: I hope she sold the couch.
Attention loons, I understand that both presidential nominees SUCK but can you please refrain from ringing 911 to vent your disapproval during the Presidential Debates . Seems Kansas police have an issue with it.
And the bartender says ….. Why such a long face?
Ever wanted to take a dump in an 18-karat gold toilet? Friday is your chance loons. Yep, the Guggenheim Museum in New York has installed a gold toilet in the public toilets. The fully functional loo was designed by Italian sculptor Maurizio Cattelan.
This is how the museum announced it….
“Its participatory nature, in which viewers are invited to make use of the fixture individually and privately, allows for an experience of unprecedented intimacy with a work of art,”
So if a burglar breaks into a YMCA playroom via the ceiling and steals play money from a toy cash register is it really a crime or just a classic example of stupidity? The security footage shows the thief snatching the money in the dimly lit room, unaware it was fake, and then fleeing.
OMG whoopsie, a Syrian rebel blew himself and his fellow freedom fighters to kingdom come, when he took a selfie with a phone connected to a bomb. Awks.
No son, that will not dissolve your drugs. A man decided to pee himself in the hope it would dissolve the heroin and cocaine in his pocket after being caught by cops. Not a chance, especially considering they were in nine small bags.
What do you do when you are rejected for a coaching and teaching position at a school? Hmm, well if you are disappointed Indiana man you send (allegedly) the successful applicant dead skunks and raccoons, that’s what. Unfortunately, that has got him stalking, intimidation and criminal mischief charges which wont look good on his next application.
A wayward calf got chauffeur driven to the Christchurch jail cell by police after he was found wandering the streets. After spending the night in jail, being hand fed milk, he was handed over to animal control for rehoming.