Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolates

Oh dear, a drunk man had a hell of time trying to get passed himself in a mirror.

Oven Door Jesus

He’s back. After a long hiatus Jesus has miraculously reappeared on an oven door in a remote village in  Slovakia. The woman who discovered this miracle was simply baking  when his image suddenly appeared. All the scrubbing and cleaning can’t remove him, so it must be real.

Not the bottom corner image loons!!!!

At Least It Won’t Be A Life Sentence

To get away from my wife, and you?

A Kansas dude decided that he would prefer to be in jail than be with his wife, so he robbed a bank. Job done. The disgruntled hubby, who had a fight with the missus, walked into a bank with a note stating it was a hold up. They handed him $3000 and he promptly went and sat down. He waited for security to take him into custody. No word on the wife, but I’m guessing she will be even more pissed.

What a Tool

When your flashing just doesn’t seem to be working for ya , why not try wearing a high-visibility fluoro-yellow work top? That seems to be the go. Melbourne Police are on the hunt for a tradie who has been dropping his daks and exposes himself to women over the past month.

Assassination Attempt?

When Putin’s presidential BMW gets taken out by a wayward Merc you would have to be suspicious right? The Russian president’s favourite official driver was killed instantly when the Putin-less car was hit head on for no apparent reason. Fortunately or unfortunately the driver of the Merc survived and is currently in hospital.

 

It’s On

If you happen to be hiking in California you might want to take extra care….it’s tarantula mating season people. Feet up!!! Yep, the hairy, scary arachnids are randy and looking for love. In typical female fashion the lady tarantulas stay at home and weave an enticing web while the boys have to trek across hill and dale to find a willing partner. Unfortunately for the desperate fellas, if they dawdle too long after sex they are more likely than not to be killed and eaten by the ungrateful bitch female. Who would want to be a spider?

Off To A Good Start In Life

Naw, officials in Washington have decided not to fine a toddler for littering. Bless. Seems the 2 year old and her mom got slapped with a $75 citation after unopened letters with their names on it were found in an alley. After a little social media ridicule the citations were dropped.

Wherefore Art Thou

A golden retriever named Romeo has been pulled from rubble after the Italian earthquake 9 days ago. His owners, who were trying to retrieve belongings , called out to him and he responded with a bark. Bewildered rescuers then dug the pooch out.