I’m not sure if this is another case of “fake news” but a hawk decided a taxi cab was a safe place as any to hide from Hurricane Harvey. Be damned if he was going to be getting out anytime soon. Hmm, I wonder if the cab driver left the meter running?
You can’t fool me!!!
If you kinda walk funny like with stiff shoulders and fast knees, chances are you are a pot smoker. True story. Evidently marijuana users walk differently, not that there is anything wrong with that! But you kinda do. Hey don’t shoot the messenger, its coming from researchers at the University of South Australia. Still no cure for cancer.
PSST That should get parents paranoid
Hey Kim Jong Un, what’s up with popping those missiles over Japan? You know damn well the UN is going to send you a harshly worded letter… AGAIN. I suggest the world retaliates by dropping millions and millions of junk food parcels into Pyongyang. Imagine how pissed the North Koreans will be with Kim Jong Un when they realise they have been hangry all these years. Just keep dropping chocolate, gummy bears, Mars bars, cookies, Starbucks (luke warm of course)…goddam everything, the sugar rush alone is enough to cause an overthrow.
You know what I hate? When your mum fills your lunchbox full of dog biscuits because the supermarket put the Scooby Snacks next to the Tiny Teddies in the biscuit aisle and she didn’t read the packaging. I really hate that. The mother only realised the mistake when her snowflakes complained about the crappy tasting snacks and she checked the packaging. Pet Food Only says it all.
Sometimes you just need to eye roll. German police have arrested a father and son after discovering 5000 ecstasy tablets in their car. Hmm, no biggie except….the tablets had Donald Trump’s face on them. Boom, drain the swamp, build a wall and lock them up.
There are some things you just can’t explain. Take for example a headstone, with the inscription “you will always be remembered, never forgotten” . It was left at the Dublin Airport and now languishes in the lost and found department.
PSST If by some chance it belongs to one of the loons, you should give them a buzz.
Why did the Scottish chickens cross the road? Because they all wore hi vis vests of course. The Glenshieling House Bed and Breakfast has placed High Visibility vests on their wandering chickens so they don’t become roadkill (or supper). They also have added “Glenshieling House Girl” on each vest to promote their business.
Blahahahahahah stop looking people. The giant tortoise that has been missing from a Japanese zoo for two weeks has been found …. 164 feet (50 meters) away!!! Look hard much? The $4,500 reward money was given to a father and son who found Abu near the zoo entrance.
So loons, it seems the only way to get a lifetime bus pass in Florida is turn 103. A 103 year old granny, who is a frequent bus catcher, was presented with the pass on her birthday. Now she can go to and fro from church free. When she was presented with the pass by the transit authority she responded “It means everything to me. Look at how much I can save,” . Am I the only one eye rolling?
A man in Iowa tried to deposit a $1 million bill into his bank account. Needless to say the bank rang the cops who asked him if he has any more million dollar bills and low and behold a baggie of meth fell from his pocket. Naw, bless. I wonder whose face he drew on the bill?
PSST I wonder what he exchanged for the bill? He is going to be right pissed when the fog lifts!