Put your spoons down loons and walk away from your Cornflakes…NOW. Apparently the crunchy little flakes were created by Mr Kellogg to stop masturbation. I know , right! It was marketed as “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Mr Kellogg, who was a Seventh-day Adventist believed that sex damaged the mind and soul, thus poor Mrs Kellogg was exiled to a separate bedroom. I bet she became one Frosted Flake. They never consummated their marriage, choosing to adopt their children. Hmm, sounds like a Cocoa Puff.
He even wrote in one of his books that masturbation caused mood swings, bad posture, acne, epilepsy, palpitations and a fondness for spicy food. OK, boom, there it is…Fruit Loop.