Category Archives: All That Is Wrong With The World

Sometimes people miss the entire point of life…..

Strawberry Terrorism

Currently, Australia is in a state of emergency over strawberries. Someone (or a group) has been placing needles and pins in strawberries throughout Australia. It started with one person swallowing a sewing needle and from there it has escalated. Police aren’t sure if it is copycat behaviour but there have now been needles found in strawberries everywhere. Initial panic has resulted in strawberry farmers having to dump their stock. So sad, considering farmers are doing it tough of late. Authorities have no idea at what stage the needles were inserted into the fruit.  It seems all strawberry farmers across Australia have been affected so I am guessing it is happening after the fruit has left the farms. Hopefully, the social media campaign underway to encourage people to buy, buy, buy, will counteract these lowlife scums . We won’t be held to ransom by strawberry terrorists.

PSST I wonder if this is just a case of sour grapes? (pun intended)

 

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In space, no one can hear you scream

The Russian Space Agency is freaking out after they discovered a 2mm hole in the venting system of one of their Space Crafts. Alarms were raised when the cabin pressure began to slowly drop. All on board were ordered to look for the cause. The hole was discovered near the toilet covered by a flap. Initially, it was thought the hole was made by a tiny meteorite but when they studied the hole they changed their tune, believing it was deliberately made. The hole was too neat and consistent with being made by a drill. Plus it was made from the inside, not the outside. There are several theories to this potentially Tom Hanks starring drama, 1) it was a poorly patched up mistake made by a contractor 2) it was made by a homesick astronaut hoping to return to Earth early or 3. SABOTAGE. Luckily they had some epoxy resin because apparently duct tape is useless in space.

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Breaking Bad

If only they used their powers for good. A couple in the US turned the kitchen window of their mobile home into a drive-thru window for drugs. Genius. They even had an open/closed sign for convenience. They figured a drive-thru wouldn’t draw as much attention as foot traffic. Unfortunately, their idea came to a grinding halt after police started investigating numerous overdoses in the area. Seems the drugs were allegedly laced with fentanyl. Doh!

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Say It Isn’t So Paris?

When it comes to finding toilets in major cities of the world, it is always a challenge. Apparently not in Paris anymore,  if you are a guy or a very unladylike woman, you can take a leak in the eco-friendly compost urinal boxes. Yes, these odourless, straw-filled red boxes sprinkled around the city of love are for you to pee. The plants growing on the top are supposed to give privacy but seriously (insert cringy face) !!!! Hell in a handbag right there.

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Airhead Guitarists

I just want to put it out there, I don’t understand air guitarists. Seriously, if you can’t play a real guitar step away from the stage. Apparently, this month is Air Guitar National Championships in New York. What are the judges looking for, you may well ask? Evidently not a friggin guitar! According to the article, I am currently reading, it all comes down to “technical merit, stage presence and the “ineffable quality of airness.” What the hell does “technical merit” mean? They DON’T have a FRGGIN guitar. People, get jobs or take some guitar lessons…anything.

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Hard Way Lesson

OK Loons, one more time. Just don’t live stream anything of any importance on FB, especially not your wedding. A woman decided it would be cool to stream her wedding live on Facebook. And it would have been had it not been for the groom doing a runner. Yep, no show. That would have been the longest of awks and where you should have cut the feed. But no, the jilted bride eventually had to walk up to the mic and tell her guests it was O-ver. The no-show was blamed mainly on the groom’s secret lover. But wait there is more. In a vain attempt to keep the wedding alive, her family begged his look-a-like-uncle to don on the suit and marry her to save face. Bless his heart, he demanded a million baht. That bride be feeling very unloved.

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What the Hell Is Novichok?

Just when you thought it was safe, the Russian nerve agent Novichok has reared its deadly head once again. Two people in Salisbury were infected this week after it is believed they picked up a contaminated item on the street. One of the victims passed away today and the second victim is still fighting for his life. It is believed the pair came in contact with the deadly nerve agent in a park near where a former Russian spy and his daughter were struck down a few months ago. A used cigarette butt has been named as a potential item.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary