Australia just had the Commonwealth Games, kind of like beginners Olympics without most of the high ranking countries. I like to call it an Interschool carnival. Anywho, during the marathon, a Welsh runner, who had been leading for most of the event, collapsed from heat exhaustion. You would think with 2km to go and looking completely done someone, anyone, would help him. Apparently no. Seems you can’t touch an athlete during the race or they are instantly disqualified. Hmm, seriously, I don’t think he was going anywhere. It’s ironic because if someone did help him it would be all about the idiot who helped him and he got disqualified.
Holy Hannibal Lector, a man in South Korea was so pissed at his neighbour’s barking dog he killed it. That is when he went all Chianti. Yep, he cooked the two year old corgi up and invited his neighbour over for a meal. Sheez, I hope he didn’t get a doggie bag!
Well, according to YouGov (a market research company in London) it’s Bill Gates and Angelina Jolie. Blahahahahahahahahahaha. Not even on my radar. Seriously!!!!!
PSST: I suppose I should be grateful it wasn’t Kim Kardashian and Kanye West
Oh no, what could possibly go wrong? Queensland is about to introduce 3D crosswalks in an attempt to stop motorists plowing through pedestrians. Like that is a thing! OK, to slow them down at least. The crosswalks will give the impression that people are walking on blocks suspended in the air. Way to mess with motorist’s heads. Anywho, good luck with that.
There is a reason why you rotate food on shelves. A man bought a box of Quaker Granola cereal from a Walmart. No biggie …except for the friggin expiry date… Feb 22, 1997. Oh lord, the box had been sitting on the shelf for 21 years. The guy claims he ate the entire box despite it not tasting so good. Golly.
PSST What that box must have seen in Walmart!
Put your spoons down loons and walk away from your Cornflakes…NOW. Apparently the crunchy little flakes were created by Mr Kellogg to stop masturbation. I know , right! It was marketed as “healthy, ready-to-eat anti-masturbatory morning meal”. Mr Kellogg, who was a Seventh-day Adventist believed that sex damaged the mind and soul, thus poor Mrs Kellogg was exiled to a separate bedroom. I bet she became one Frosted Flake. They never consummated their marriage, choosing to adopt their children. Hmm, sounds like a Cocoa Puff.
He even wrote in one of his books that masturbation caused mood swings, bad posture, acne, epilepsy, palpitations and a fondness for spicy food. OK, boom, there it is…Fruit Loop.
Stop worrying emoji users the lobster has been corrected. Yes, the right number of legs have now been added….sheez, tough crowd.
PSST: Still no cure for cancer!