Grab your tin foil hats and sit down while I tell you about the future. Apparently a time traveller has come back to warn us. Introducing Noah, who believes he is from 2030. In fact he has taken a lie dectector test to prove he is telling the truth. Insert an eye roll anywhere you like. He said he snuck back in time to warn us. OK, 12 years into the future isn’t a biggie but each to their own. Here’s the low down on what the future holds. Trump will win a second term, Google Glass robots will run the place and we will get to Mars by 2028. Still no cure for cancer!
PSST Here’s the video of him if you are interested….
OK frequent plane travellers, here’s a heads up on when you are most likely to end up on Air Crash Investigation. Apparently the most vulnerable time for a plane to crash is during final descent and landing. So says Boeing. But you know what? Most of the plane crashes I have read about kaboom in mid flight, suddenly, without warning usually during an inflight movie or as the food trolley is heading down the aisle. This loon hates flying, despite doing it often. I not only check where all the exits are, but analyse the passengers to work out who I can outrun. Just saying.
You know when they catch a serious criminal and the neighbours always say, “Sheez, I would never have guessed he looked so normal and nice.”? Hmmm, well whatup neighbours of David Turpin? Seriously, even the haircut is a crime. Just saying.
The checks and balances simply failed these 13 kids/adults/captives. I kind of did the maths on when the parents went all Norman Bates and seems to coincide with the eldest child turning 18. I guess they didn’t want to lose control over their children. Sickness or not, 13 souls have now had their lives irreparably damaged. No amount of Dr Phil or Oprah is going to fix this mess.
I really do hope they throw the
Bible book at them.
PSST I refuse to post any images of the children but quite happy to post everything about these two bottom dwellers. Jailhouse Rock Turpins.
Attention people of Hawaii. Get out of your bomb shelters, storm drains, cupboards and caves, there is no ballistic missile heading your way. Whoops, we bad? Seems a Government worker accidentally sent a phone warning to Smart phone users, scaring the sh*t out of them. It didn’t help that the message said “ this is not a drill ,seek immediate shelter” all in capital letters. It also didn’t help that it took 40 minutes to retract the message. The streets soon filled with people crying and screaming. One parent was seen shoving his kid down a manhole. Oh the humanity.
PSST Apparantly the man who activated the text is feeling bad.
Oh for crying out loud mister, why would you bother robbing a bank in Switzerland at 80? Seriously, just go home, put your feet up and leave it to the young and dumb. The masked geriatric made his getaway on foot but was soon apprehended. I feel I need to slap my forehead.
Well, here is a scam for someone who has no shame. A woman nonchantly walked into Costco on January the 4th with her “dead” Christmas tree and asked for a full refund. Her reasoning? It’s now dead. Despite staff being somewhat dumbfounded they still had to hand her back the money. I’m guessing this maybe the end of stores selling live Christmas trees.
Anyone else think the Golden Globes is pretentious? Actors trying to be our moral compass is just ridiculous. Let’s face it money and fame is what drives most of them. We get it , sexual harassment happens….everywhere….not just Hollywood. Just saying.