I just want to put it out there, I don’t understand air guitarists. Seriously, if you can’t play a real guitar step away from the stage. Apparently, this month is Air Guitar National Championships in New York. What are the judges looking for, you may well ask? Evidently not a friggin guitar! According to the article, I am currently reading, it all comes down to “technical merit, stage presence and the “ineffable quality of airness.” What the hell does “technical merit” mean? They DON’T have a FRGGIN guitar. People, get jobs or take some guitar lessons…anything.
OK Loons, one more time. Just don’t live stream anything of any importance on FB, especially not your wedding. A woman decided it would be cool to stream her wedding live on Facebook. And it would have been had it not been for the groom doing a runner. Yep, no show. That would have been the longest of awks and where you should have cut the feed. But no, the jilted bride eventually had to walk up to the mic and tell her guests it was O-ver. The no-show was blamed mainly on the groom’s secret lover. But wait there is more. In a vain attempt to keep the wedding alive, her family begged his look-a-like-uncle to don on the suit and marry her to save face. Bless his heart, he demanded a million baht. That bride be feeling very unloved.
Just when you thought it was safe, the Russian nerve agent Novichok has reared its deadly head once again. Two people in Salisbury were infected this week after it is believed they picked up a contaminated item on the street. One of the victims passed away today and the second victim is still fighting for his life. It is believed the pair came in contact with the deadly nerve agent in a park near where a former Russian spy and his daughter were struck down a few months ago. A used cigarette butt has been named as a potential item.
While the entire world is enjoying the World Cup, please spare a thought for Australia. The Free To Air television station (who had exclusive rights to all of the matches) on-sold the rights to a telco to stream over half of the matches (for a fee). Unfortunately, the telco has been unable to deliver live streams of any of the games thus far. For three nights Australians have been reading Twitter feeds and news updates to get information about the matches. Australia has been losing their collective minds!
Tell me it ain’t so? Justin Trudeau wears fake eyebrows. Apparently one fell off during a press conference at the G7. I just can’t deal. Dear lord, I will be Youtubing all night checking out his rogue brows.
You know what I hate? When it rains poo. You know what I really hate? When it rains poo while you have your sunroof open! Apparently, liquid sh#t fell from the sky over a town in British Columbia and straight onto a mother and son who were stopped at traffic lights. It took them a few seconds for the smell to hit them but then….grrrrr. They believe the liquid poo that covered them and their car was from an airplane. Random people’s sh#t.
My greatest fear is that at some point wildlife will realise that if they join forces and attacked us collectively, we are screwed. Given that, a woman in India was bitten by some mean-ass snake in the middle of the night, while she was sleeping. When she woke up she began breastfeeding her baby before both became decidedly ill. Sadly they both died en route to the hospital. It is believed that the mother passed the poisonous venom through to her child via the breast milk. The family told authorities that they had seen the snake in the house but they didn’t manage to catch it.
OK loons, you know how I hate clowns and dolls and anything that could attack me in the middle of the night…well.Seems there is a new menace on the block that may keep us sleeping with one eye open at night…imaginary friends. Apparently, children have the ability to see things we don’t. Meet Ruby and her imaginary friend and see if you wouldn’t be Googling, local exorcist.
Yes, its true yet another severed foot in a sneaker has washed up on a Canadian strip of beach. Despite 14 feet washing up in the same area since 2007, the Canadian coroners keep saying, move on, nothing to see here. It is believed that sneakers add that special touch of buoyancy that makes them float around the ocean until the body becomes detached. Some of the feet have been identified as suicide victims but some remain unknown. Dear god, just make it stop!
Apparently, Australia has only 30 days of liquid fuel left. Yes, you heard me, Australia has just 22 days of crude oil, 59 days of LPG, 20 days of petrol, 19 days of aviation fuel and 21 days of diesel remaining. How could this be happening? Seems our government have taken their eye off the ball and don’t have a plan B when it comes to surplus fuel. The US strike on Syria and Middle East unrest haven’t helped. Australia relies on the Middle East for 91% of its transport fuel which basically means I will need to start pumping up my bike tyres.