Excuse me waitress but there is a roach in my salad

A waitress at a Chinese restaurant responded to a customers complaint about a roach in his food by promptly picking it up out of his salad and eating it. She then told him “No matter which restaurant you go to, you will always find cockroaches in the food. It is very normal.”  Good to know!!!

When You Don’t Give A Sh*T

Stuck for a wedding venue ? No probs, I have the perfect location. The Brightwater Wastewater Treatment Center in Washington is now officially a wedding venue. Oh come on loons, it has a full catering kitchen, state-of-the-art AV equipment, dance floor, ample parking, beautiful outdoor grounds, and room for up to 260 people.Oh and if you are worried about the ponk…it is ponk free. Not a smell to be snorted. Something to tell the grandkids.

Look. Up in the Sky. It’s …. Run

Two families in Ontario suspect passing airplanes have been dropping crap on their properties and by crap I mean poop. The families say that their cars and driveways where splattered with petrid smelling feces which could have only come from above….. from either a plane or a “pterodactyl”. Airport authorities say samples have been analysed and it definitely ain’t their shit.

You Dirty Rat You Ate My Pizza

The Green Eggs Cafe in Pennsylvania is in damage control after a sewer main burst and unleashed a flood of rats into their restaurant. Locals were on hand to film and upload the rodents feasting away.

Feel Like Dabbing Some Pizza Behind Your Ear?

Move over Estee Lauder we have a new scent in town and it will make you hungry for more….introducing “Eau de Pizza Hut”. Yes, the tantalizing stench scent of a “box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened”. Pizza Hut Canada have just  released 110 bottles of the pizza smelling perfume and some lucky Facebook fans will be receiving them. Awesome.

Psst I’m holding out for the  garlic bread scent.

Serial Masturbator Strikes Again

OK, here’s the thing serial masturbator, when you are sitting on a staircase, in an alley, with your pants down around your ankles, spanking the sausage, and two cops tell you to stop,  don’t refuse and tell them to wait until your finished, that’s just gross.

Psst Seattle

2nd Psst Thanks to Craig Berry for the heads up and who adamantly denies it’s about him.

3rd Psst  No Bearman I’m not adding a piece of clipart for this post!!!!

Superman Rang He Wants His Undies Back

Ewh, yesterday as I was doing my regular 440 stair exercises at Jacob’s Ladder when I came across these hanging in the bush. At first I thought maybe they were Bearman’s but on further inspection I realised, probably not. So what would make someone ditch their “comic” undies in a public place?

This Is The Problem With Refund Policies

I think this has been used!!!!!

Oh for crying out loud, when a Florida man returned several enema kits to a store for a refund the staff whacked them back on the shelves after he claimed he hadn’t used them. Yes loons, of course he had lied, they had all been friggin used. Gross.

Elephant Poo Paper

Seems there is more than one use for elephant poo. Who knew? Yep, seems you can turn the turds into paper. Lots and lots of it! It’s the brainchild of Queensland zookeeper, Tim Husband, who was desperately trying to save elephants in Indonesia from slaughter. Now locals collect piles and piles of shit to make paper to flog to tourists. One pile of dung makes 15 sheets of high quality pachyderm poo paper.

The Photos You Don’t Want To See

Oh my, if you have ever seen a gyno  in the town of Schifferstadt in Germany, you may not like what you are about to read. A 56 year old  gynecologist has been arrested after taking photos of about 3,000 women’s “you know whats”, without their knowledge. Egads, that’s some collection. Police have seized about 35,000 awkwardly embarrassing photos of his naked patients. So far 700 victims have come forward. Sheez, how would you identify your…ah never mind. The sick doc is now facing a year in jail, while the women face a lifetime of embarrassment.

Psst Pity the fool who has to sort out the doctors collection.