What Happened to Nanny State?

Two sisters in Devon, England are forced each night to be locked in their rooms and to use a baby monitor to notify their mother if they need to go to the toilet. Reason? Mummy dearest married a pedophile. The council have allowed the new hubby to live under the same roof if the girls are locked up each night ( because he is still considered a risk) and he sleeps on the wall side of the bed so he has to climb over his wife (theoretically waking her)  if he tries something nasty.  Sleep with one eye open everybody. Funnily the biological daddy has a problem with this.

PSSt Not a good time for my auto corrector to keep changing locked  to licked …just saying.

Dummy Nominated For Aberdeen Council Seat

Helena Torry has been ditched as a Aberdeen council candidate because of false submission info. Seems Helena is actually a 5 ft mannequin nominated by her buddy, Renee Slater, who is now in big trouble. The pensioner, who nominated her mannequin to fight for equality for human beings and to give a voice to the silent minority, will now face trial for submitting false information. No word from Helena, who has been confiscated.

Psst Sorry no images as I am posting from my iPad.

Doggy Dumpage Disposal Unit

It makes me LOL at the lengths councils will go to confuse the crap out of people. It makes me LOL even harder at the cryptic instructions they provide. NO PEOPLE the “disposal unit” isn’t the doggy bin, it’s those neatly hidden yellow bags. Why don’t they simply write  “Grab a bag and pick up your dog’s shit and plonk it in the dog bin provided. Thank you!”  Sheez!!!! At least cats bury theirs!!!!

 

Handicap Parking App

Park illegally in handicap parking bays do you? Hmm, well you might want to think again if you live in Austin, Texas because it won’t be long before a public vigilante group will be able to use their Smartphone to dob in handicap parking cheats. Yep, residents will soon be allowed to take a series of photos, proving a violation, and then send the images to the council via an iPhone app so they can issue a parking ticket. You should never mess with the handicap!

Gingerbread Man Has Rights!

Oh %#@*!

The PC police have struck again and this time the poor victim is the Gingerbread Man. Yes, the beloved anatomically ambiguous cookie has suddenly been castrated. Menus at 400 primary schools in Lancashire now refer to the biscuit as  gingerbread “person”. The politically correct Lancashire Council have fortunately bowed to public pressure and have agreed to give the Gingerbread back his manhood after Christmas.Sheez, next thing you know the friggin redhead police will be harassing the poor cookie!

Hey Mister, That’s Our Artwork!

Oh whoopsie, council cleaners spent a few hours washing away graffiti on pavement at Milton Keynes only to discover it was a charity street art project by teens. Awkward! The teenagers had spent 8 hours creating chalk Halloween murals and were shocked when they returned the following morning to take photos only to discover a council anti-graffiti worker busy at work washing them away. Next time maybe the organizers of The Big Draw might inform the council of their next community charity project. Epic Fail!

Friggin Spell Check

Oh for the love of spell check, a council in Kirklees has had to recall 7,000 of their pamphlets due to it’s friggin typos. The tourist brochure contained 50 spelling errors which included 20 misspellings of the district’s  name!!! The council are blaming the errors on an automated spell check used by the printer.

Can All Frustrated Virgins Apply?

Aren't we good enough for ya?

How cool are the British taxpayers? They are footing the bill  for a 21 year old disabled man to fly to Amsterdam so he can have sex with a prostitute. His social worker argued that sex was a  “human right”  and his frustrated virgin client needed to have sex. The money is being provided by the government’s Putting People First scheme. The social worker also added ‘He’s planning to do more than just have his end away , he’s having a holiday,’

Psst Hmm, why not fly a prostitute to him, that way he can do it in the comfort of his own home and not in  window?

PC Gone Stark Raving Mad

Has anyone seen my towel?

Darlaston Leisure Centre in the West Midlands have blacked out their windows of their glass panelled swimming pool because Muslim women had complained their modesty was being jeopardized. Now swimmers are left to swim in near dark conditions. One angry visitor said ‘The whole thing smacks of political correctness gone stark raving mad.’ The council said the decision was made after they received complaints from predominantly the Muslim community and a few non Muslim women ‘We received a request from the Muslim Community to protect the modesty of swimmers.’

Hiding a Cell Tower For Dummies

That should be nice!

Hmm, OK, I’ll play along. The township of Montclair are planning to build a cell tower and then disguise it as a turn of the century smokestack. That’s right guys, create a totally different kind of  eye sore that is only slightly more  aesthetically pleasing. Brilliant.  The townsfolk aren’t too happy about the 105ft tower being erected in the area because of potential health risks but council thinks if they disguise it as a smokestack they’ll forget it even exists! The deal is expected to bring in $2.5 million over the next 25 years. Hmm, so that’s like $100,000 a year. Geez, how much of that will be swallowed up in building the fake smokestack?