Last night I was having dinner at my favourite Japanese restaurant when a dodgy looking couple walked in. As I have the back corner table I had the best of views. I knew they were trouble and watched the trap unfold. The woman pretended to be extremely thirsty and asked if she could buy a bottle of water, whilst the guy stood in the doorway. It is a restaurant so it was an unusual request. Anywho, as the guy paid for the water the woman placed her bag on the counter (over the tip jar) and grabbed the notes out from under it. They then both hurried off out the door, not even bothering to take the water. As soon as they left I went up and told the staff what had happened. While I was talking to the manager and laughing my head off, I could see the now furious couple yelling at each other in the carpark. The reason? The tip jar is always full of useless old notes from Asia. And the bonus, the waitress charged them $4.50 for the water. Classic fail.
Category Archives: Friggin Hilarious
Welcome 2019 and welcome the first new conspiracy theory of the year. This involves Meaghan Markle and the royal bub to be. Rumours have been spreading recently by a small group that Meaghan isn’t pregnant at all and is, in fact, faking it. Enter the British made “moon-bump”. The strap on bump gives the appearance of being pregnant and is often used by actresses. Evidently, there have been photos suggesting that Meaghan has been wearing one under her designer frocks. A small group believes Harry and Meaghan are using a surrogate. Bless, don’t you love them. Here’s how it all started….
PSST: You can follow the conspiracy theorists on Twitter #MEGXIT
Like the good loon I have been steering myself clear of writing about the upcoming nuptials of Prince Harry and the TV actress. BUT, in light of her daddy having the paparazzi follow him around Mexico to take the worst staged shots I have ever seen, I can’t help myself any longer. Are you really sure Harry?REALLY? You have a few days to make a run for it. I’m not sure you really want to add this branch to your family tree. Daddy has now bailed, brother is persona non grata, her ex-besties haven’t got a nice word, her mum is hiding in the shadows and well, it all seems like a mess. To top it all off, the relis who haven’t been invited have hopped over the Atlantic to be guest commentators on various tv networks. Move over Geordie Shore, the Markles are in town.
Apparently, insurance scams are a big thing in Asia, who knew? People are throwing themselves (very obviously) in front of vehicles in the hope of collecting a payout. Just bless. I love these people.
Here’s the thing loons, if you are standing in line at a bakery and overhear someone behind you say ‘let’s hope this fat bitch doesn’t buy all the cupcakes’. What do you do loons, what do you do? Well, you buy every goddam cupcake in the store, that is what. Well played.
An Aussie tradie scored one for the team when he accidentally dug through the Pacific internet cable causing widespread outages in New Zealand, Vanuatu, Fiji, Tonga and Samoa. Whoopsie. Vocus internet provider was down and out for 10 hours. The tradie was digging a bore when he severed ties with New Zealand.
When British dude Duncan saw tickets to the Red Hot Chilli Peppers going cheap he thought it would be a great Valentine’s Day pressie for his girlfriend. He bought the $53 tickets and even plane tickets to Belfast for the romantic gesture. Imagine the couple’s surprise when they were seated at the Red Hot Chill PIPERS concert. A bagpipe cover band…woohoo….is there even such a thing? Apparently there is!!!
I just love a good food fight. Macca’s staff cracked a whopper in front of a bemused drive-thr customer. Priceless. Be warned…some choice language.
One more time Loons, you can’t beat the system. A man returning to England from Iceland tried to avoid paying excess by wearing all his clothes on a flight. Yep, he wore 8 pairs of pants and 10 shirts. When he was denied a boarding pass he went on Twitter to question whether it was…wait for it…racial profiling. For the love of all things stupid, it wasn’t your race!!! Of course he filmed it all and of course he was arrested …life is like a box of chocolates. When he returned the next day to board another flight he got all the way through the security check before being told him he wasn’t allowed to board because of the previous incident. Run Forrest run.