He Lives On!!!

Hey Loons, guess what Bearman is going to buy me for my birthday?  You’re da man!!!

Click here.

Party Rocking With Kim Jong Il

Dear Leader maybe have left the building but the house is still rocking …

North Koreans Cry A Taedong River

Despite millions and millions of North Koreans starving under Kim Jong Il’s dictatorship they could still spare a wail or two for the despot. Meanwhile, the rest of the world is holding its collective breath hoping that Kimmy’s son Kim Jong Un isn’t planning to big note himself by letting one of his nukes rip.

Kim Jong Il Dead From Fatigue on a Train

Bye

OMG, North Korea’s Dear Leader is dead from fatigue . How tragic. Now his dream of lassoing the moon and doing a duet with Justin Bieber are gone. Gee, I hope Kim Jong Un is going to be as much fun as daddy? Hmm, just might skip the old RIP.

Destination North Korea

OMG loons, guess what? North Korea is now accepting tourists. OK, there is a catch….no photos, no cellphones, no talking to locals, no wandering down the streets and, god forbid, never ever send an email. Hmm, but other than that, you are free to stroll around your hotel room and watch government run propaganda on the telly. Seems with all these nasty sanctions put in place by the UN and US are taking a toll on Kim Jong Il’s wallet. He needs the tourist bucks to keep up the lifestyle he is accustom to. A small area near the east coast that North Korea stole from South Korea, after a tourist was shot in 2008, will be the testing ground for the first load of tourists. Currently North Korea only wants Chinese tourists, which is understandable. If they step out of line and get thrown in jail the UN and the US won’t give a shit. Always thinking!!!!

The Loon is packed and ready to rip!!!

A Dog Is Il’s Best Friend

How much does Kim Jong Il spend on dog food each year? Hows about $191,400. I bet the 6 million starving North Koreans are absolutely thrilled.

Never Trust A North Korean Defector

We know nothing

Well, well, Well, Kim Jong Il, seems your dastardly plan has failed. A North Korean defector, now believed to be a sleeper for the nasty regime, has been caught carrying a poison tipped needle believed to be intended for South Korean activist Park Sang-hak. You remember Sang-hak, he’s the dude that flies unmanned balloons across the North Korean border each year dropping thousands of leaflets criticizing Kim Jong Il’s regime. Evidently the defector, only known as An,  set up a meeting with Mr Sang-hak but Sang-hak was wise enough to inform National Intelligence Service who said no friggin way. In a sting operation, reminiscent of an 80’s movie, An was  found with the deadly device on him. What a prick!

Nip and Tuck

Oh boy, being the favorite son and heir apparent to North Korean despot Dear Leader isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Rumors are circulating that Kim Jong Eun has gone under the knife 6 times in an attempt to look more like his granddaddy, Kim Il Sung. The plastic surgeries happened between 2007-2010.

Before

After

You Might Want Better Aim?

Oh look, they're waving at us?

Hmm, I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. South Korean marine Corps troops opened fire for 10 minutes on a suspicious aircraft flying near the border they share with North Korea thinking it was one of those communist bastard jet fighters belonging to Kim Jong Il. Turns out it was a South Korean commercial aircraft with 119 people on board. The worrying thing is they fired at the aircraft for 10 minutes and still managed to miss it.

Well That Ends Kim Jong Il’s Dance Lessons

How the hell can I star in Chorus Line now?

Oh for crying out loud Italy, why deny the second happiest country in the world tap shoes? Seems the Italians have blocked a ship carrying high quality tap shoes from China to North Korea. That’s a breach of United Nation’s ban on sale of luxury goods to the despot Pyongyang, right there!!!.