Category Archives: Friggin Kim Jong Il

Everything Kim Jong Il!

Axis Of Evil One Of The Happiest Places on Earth

Trust the North Koreans to come out with a global happiness index. Can you guess which, according to their findings,  are the happiest countries in the world ? Ranking number one for happiness is …drum roll….China, with a perfect 100 out of 100 score, followed closely behind by North Korea, Cuba, Iran and Venezuela. And surprise, surprise, guess who came in dead last? The U.S of A. Arch rivals South Korea came in a surprising 152nd out of a possible 203 countries

Hmm, things must have begun looking up for Kimmy Jong Il since this ….

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Kim Jong Il’s Excellent Adventure

Sheez, Onry prace reft to horiday

Sheez, maybe it is doomsday, Kim Jong Il’s been spotted in an industrial city in northern China on secret dictator’s business.

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Kim Jong Il Has A New Strategy

Go on, stop me!

Well it seems Kim Jong Il and his band of merry men have come up with an alternative to growing more crops to feed the starving millions. Sheez, why waste such good soil on food when you can grow poppies….in other words heroin.  Yes, recent satellite images reveal an expansion of opium poppy fields around prison camps. Nice move Kimmy, get the prisoners to do your dirty work. North Korean cronies say they “do not allow food production by prisoners because they would steal it. They would rather grow drugs.” And anywho Kimmy made a killing in the 90’s producing heroin and getting his diplomats to flog it overseas. Now he is looking at joining forces with the Japanese Yakuza and the Russian Mafia to make his country some quick bucks.

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Beatrice Becomes Kim Jong Il’s Fashionista

Egads, seriously princess! Despite missing out on an invite  Kim Jong Il took no time in copying Princess Beatrice’s  style. However he is claiming she stole it from his 1980’s Il Spring Collection!

Why you steal from me?

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Gillard To The Rescue

Friggin brilliant, Julia Gillard wants to take on Kim Jong Il. This should end well. The Aussie Prime Minister has been visiting  South Korea and  after having been stared down by a North Korean soldier at the border  she now wants the world to put a stop to Kim Jong Il’s evil ways. Gee, like no one’s been trying! Hmm, maybe she should send him some Baked Beans and Tim Tams.

Want sauce with that?

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At First You Don’t Succeed, Give up!

Barroons? What wrong with you?

Oh for the love of god don’t you get it, Kim Jong Il doesn’t give a shit, so take your friggin floating balloons filled with leaflets and DVD’s of anti Kim propaganda and go on friggin Facebook, that’s where all the real activists hang! Sheez! Have you not been watching the news? Park Sang Hak is a North Korean defector who for 7 years has been sending propaganda balloons across the border in the hope someone will bother reading them and start a revolt. Seven friggin years!! Dude! His latest launch will see 200,000 leaflets, hundreds of USB drives and DVDs sent floating into the North badlands bitching about the regime. Hmm, what the hell are the poor people going to play them on, pray tell? Oh well,  it ain’t my money. I’m thinking it probably isn’t a good time to be pissing off the Dear Leader anywho. He’s just waiting for a good enough reason to blow you off the face of the earth.

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Look At Me, Look At Me!

Damn you Western scum dog pigs! Oh and how's about some food?

The UN better get their harshly worded letter ready, Kim Jong Il is threatening South Korea and the US again. Seems he’s pissed at their annual  joint military drills. North Korea’s military published a rant in their local rag which went a little something like this  “The army and people of (North Korea) will return bolstered nuclear deterrent of our own style for the continued nuclear threat by the aggressors,” oh and then added they would turn Seoul into a “sea of flames.” Sheez, we’ve heard all of that before.

Psst So Kimmy, how’s the begging for food going?

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Oliver Twist Il

Yeah, got food prease!

I’m guessing Kim Jong Il’s birthday celebrations are over as he’s now begging foreign governments for food. Please sir, more? So what to do? The dilemma faced by most countries  is if they do send food to the starving people will it simply end up in a corrupt distribution system. Hmm, might be time to hop onto Facebook North Koreans and get those peaceful protests started.

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Happy Birthday Kim Jong Il

Cheers!

Woohoo, it’s you’re birthday, it’s your birthday. So what did you get? Are you having a party? Sheez, you look amazing for 70 21! Shame your son, Kimmy Jong Chol, skipped it in favor of the Eric Clapton concert in Singapore. Second sons suck anyways. For he’s a jolly good fella, for he’s a jolly good fella …….

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Guess Who?

Guess who this lazy exiled dude’s papa is?

Hi pa!

North Korean Dear Leader Kim Jong Il of course.

Nam got his marching orders after he secretly snuck off to Japan’s Disneyland. Sheez, he’d have been a much more fun leader. Now his younger half bro is heir apparent.

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