Worse Than a Mogwai

Holy feral goldfish Batman. Just when you thought Australia’s wildlife couldn’t get more freakier, lets introduce the feral goldfish. Estuaries in Western Australia are being invades by goldfish the size of  footballs. Evidently the problem is due to people flushing unwanted pets down the loo.  Seems the usually freshwater fish have morphed to adapt to the saltier water (and are loving it).  As a result they are chewing up vegetation and feeding on the native fish’ eggs.  See ya eco system. Who knew goldfish out of their bowls could be such pests.

I Might Be A Bird But I’m Not Stupid!

I’m not sure if this is another case of “fake news” but a hawk decided a taxi cab was a safe place as any to hide from Hurricane Harvey. Be damned if he was going to be getting out anytime soon. Hmm, I wonder if the cab driver left the meter running?

Oh For Cluck Sake

Why did the Scottish chickens cross the road? Because they all wore hi vis vests of course. The Glenshieling House Bed and Breakfast has placed High Visibility vests on their wandering chickens so they don’t become roadkill (or supper). They also have added “Glenshieling House Girl” on each vest to promote their business.

Slow and Steady

Blahahahahahah stop looking people. The giant tortoise that has been missing from a Japanese zoo for two weeks has been found …. 164 feet (50 meters)  away!!! Look hard much? The $4,500 reward money was given to a father and son who found Abu near the zoo entrance.

Not Just Nuts

Squirrel be like WTF. A intsy weensy Canadian squirrel managed to destroy 20,000 gallons of milk at a cheese factory. Evidently he chewed through a wire that happened to be attached to a piece of machinery and well you can guess the rest. Naughty squirrel.

WTF Australia!!!!

Just when you thought Australia couldn’t get more scarier …. introducing sea lice. Yes, the latest creature to deter us from putting a friggin toe in the ocean. A teen was left bleeding from hundreds of little bites after cooling off  for a few minutes in the water. Doctors, who struggled to contain the bleeding were baffled as to what the hell caused this mess.  The teens confused father decided to go back to the location with some chunks of meat and guess what? Friggin flesh eating bugs appeared. But don’t fret sea loving loons, in typical Aussie fashion an expert said ‘sea lice should not alarm people or deter them from swimming.’ Hmm, neither should sharks, blue ring octopus, stone fish or deadly jellyfish right?

Sea Lice

 

I deliberately put his horror image last, so look away squeamish loons….the ravishes of sea lice….

UPDATE: The creatures have been identified now as Sea Fleas not Sea Lice. Who friggin cares, they are spawns of Satan!!!!

One hump or two?

Oh for the love of humps, the West Australian dairy industry is introducing camel milk to the mix.  Camel milk has three times more vitamin C and half the saturated fat of cow’s milk. One small catch…it currently costs $25 a litre.

PSST That is going to be a bitch to milk. Camels are not the most docile of the spitting creatures.