Category Archives: Kim Jong Um

Loon Solution

Hey Kim Jong Un, what’s up with popping those missiles over Japan? You know damn well the UN is going to send you a harshly worded letter… AGAIN. I suggest the world retaliates by dropping millions and millions of junk food parcels into Pyongyang. Imagine how pissed the North Koreans will be with Kim Jong Un when they realise they have been hangry all these years. Just keep dropping chocolate, gummy bears, Mars bars, cookies, Starbucks (luke warm of course)…goddam everything, the sugar rush alone is enough to cause an overthrow.

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Meanwhile

Kim Jung Un executed 15 of his officials after they poo-pooed his policies . Fair enough.

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North Korea’s Internet Down

computer woman 2Oo Oh, don’t mess with the US, Pongyang, or your internet might go poof!!!North Korea is currently suffering major internet outages following their hacking of Sony and Obamas threat to respond. OMG, I hope Kim Jong Un doesn’t have to restart Candy Crush, that would be a bitch. This may be the start of cyber attack wars. Dear lord, can you back up Flappy Bird?

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Rodman Bestie With Kim Jong Un

What could possibly go wrong?

kim-jong-rodman-1

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Kim Jong Un’s Wife IS Alive … For Now

kim-jong-um-but-holeCalm down everyone, Kim Jong Um hasn’t had his missus executed for not standing up fast enough. The very obedient wife Ri, who has been AWOL for the past few weeks, appeared on his arm yesterday for a parade to honour the second anniversary of his dead dad Kim Jong Il.  Kim Jong Um has been getting some global flack after executing his uncle last week. See,  he isn’t a complete bastard.

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One Empty Seat At Kim Jong Un’s Chrissie Table

Christmas is going to be a tad awkward at the Jong Un household this year after he erradicated his wayward uncle. And by eradicated I mean executed. Jang Song Thaek  is was the second most powerful man in North Korea until he did something real naughty because  Kim Jong Un declared him “worse than a dog” and claimed he had  “committed such hideous crime as attempting to overthrow the state by all sorts of intrigues and despicable methods with a wild ambition to grab the supreme power of our party and state.” Ouch!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Kim Jong Um, Well I Never

The Hyon Song-wol Sex Tape

Here it is, the alleged “sex tape” that resulted in Kim Jong Un’s ex and about 20 other musicians being executed in North Korea  …

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Could This Be The End Of LG?

US locate two missing North Korean missiles

Where you want, Kimmy

The good news today is the US have finally located  North Korea’s  2 missing nuclear missiles …… the bad news is they are ready for launch. Life ain’t so good.

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Oh No, He Has A Floppy Disk

Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Kim Jong Un produces a floppy disk. Does anyone have Windows 3.0–Windows NT????

Kim Jong Un has a floppy disk

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North Korea Declares a State of War

Oh for crying out loud Kim Jong Un you are making it very hard for the Loon to know what to wear with all your talk of kabooming the US and South Korea. Yeah, I know Hawaii, Washington DC, Los Angeles and Austin, Texas are marked on your really big map but I would just like to know if you have any intentions of sending a rocket my way. I have a hard hat at the ready but I’m not sure whether to drain my jacuzzi or not. I have also purchased a North Korean phrase book , just in case . Oh and before I forget could you keep your chanting of ‘death to the U.S. imperialists’ down as the South Koreans are trying to sleep. Word on the street is Obama has Dennis Rodman at the ready for negotiation talks and the UN are frantically writing their strongly worded letter. In the meantime I will be sleeping with one eye open.

North Korea Declares a State of War

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