Category Archives: Thanks For Nothing

Would You Like Fries With That?

Oh for the love of special sauce. A study in the UK has revealed that not one, not two but EVERY single McDonalds touchscreen menu they tested had faecal matter on it. In one case,  they found the potentially deadly staphylococcus bacteria. If you think about it, this was always going to happen. Just place the study on top of the pile below hotel TV remotes, escalator handrails and airline touchscreens. Thanks people, we are one touch away from potential death. WASH YOUR FRIGGIN HANDS, please.

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Gross, Thanks For Nothing

Might Want To Check Your Liver

Attention recent British liver transplant patients, you might want to check to see if your liver has your surgeons initials burnt into it. Apparently if  your surgeon brands your organs without your consent it is assault. Who knew? The surgeon in question has pleaded guilty in the unprecedented case.

2 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt

About Friggin Time

So loons, it seems the only way to get a lifetime bus pass in Florida is turn 103. A 103 year old granny, who is a frequent bus catcher, was presented with the pass on her birthday. Now she can go to and fro from church free. When she was presented with the pass by the transit authority she responded “It means everything to me. Look at how much I can save,” . Am I the only one eye rolling?

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing

Going, Going, Gone

A Woman is friggin lucky to be alive after she and her car plunged 7 storeys from a parking garage. Whoopsie daisy. They do it big in Texas.

2 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Truck on a Roll

What happens when your truck full of bread dough gets too hot? A rising yeasty mess. Motorists would be excused for having a little chuckle when dough began oozing from a truck on a Washington State highway. Sticky buns.

1 Comment

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Batman Found The Joker

Either the Texas police have employed a superhero or the dude who arrested a shoplifter isn’t really Batman. Personally, I don’t know who was more embarrassed, the police officer dressed as Batman or the poor sucker who got arrested by him? Ironically  the WalMart thief approached Batman for a selfie (blahahahahaha)  but was soon busted for being in possession of stolen DVDs (including The Lego Batman Movie). One to tell the grand kids fool.

PSST : Wouldn’t it be cool if all of the police dressed as superheroes…just saying.

3 Comments

Filed under Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Birth Discrimination Anyone?

A pregnant woman who wanted a photographer to take photos of her having a baby via c-section got this interesting reply. Kinda ouch on so many levels.

ouch

2 Comments

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

How To Terrify Your Grandkids

To be honest I think I would be terrified as well.

1 Comment

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!

Chinese Tourists Explained

chinese-touristsNaw bless. It seems peeved British tour guides are behind the sudden influx of Chinese tourists to a small village in Kidlington. Residents have been bemused/mortified as bus loads of Chinese sightseers have descended into their quiet suburban streets taking snaps. Some enthusiastic Chinese tourists have been knocking on local’s doors asking for selfies, others bouncing on trampolines, one even offered to mow the lawn. Originally the phenomenon was blamed on the Chinese wanting to experience the “true” England. But no. Then it was reported that naughty tour guides were telling them that the village was the location for Harry Potter, Midsomer Murders and Inspector Morse. But now it has been revealed that the mobs have been dumped there because they don’t want to pay the jacked up prices offered by the tour guides to visit Winston Churchill’s home. Seems the crafty Chinese discovered they could buy cheaper tickets so they were opting out of the tour and then sneaking off on foot to visit. So the tour guides have been dropping them off at Kidlington because it is far enough away that they can’t walk there.

1 Comment

Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

End of World Alert

Vatican coin misspelled JesusA religious computer programmer believes Jesus is on his way back to Earth to destroy the planet. Seems he has had enough. The programmer has calculated that at the end of 2016 we will face the apocalypse and those lucky enough will head to heaven while the rest will be sizzling somewhere else. She wrote on her website ‘In the fall of 2016, the 6,000 years of sin on earth will come to an end, everlasting righteousness will be brought in, and Jesus will come again to take His people to heaven.’

PSST I wonder what Jesus has been doing for the passed 2000 years?

5 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never