Category Archives: That’s Gotta Hurt

Pilot, Can You Deploy The Air Mask

My actual worst nightmare, sitting next to someone with BO. Apparently, I am not alone. This week a couple were removed from an American Airlines flight because several passengers complained about their chronic body odor. Just so awks. I can remember many moons ago walking into a cloud of BO in an aisle of a supermarket. It was so thick and putrid that the stench cloud engulfed me and then held me hostage. It even infiltrated my clothes and HAIR. I can remember gagging and as customers walked by they gave me side-eye as if it was me. The trauma was real.

PSST Just a little side note, the couple were so stunned they asked people in the terminal to have a whiff. According to them, they didn’t smell so bad.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

What Goes Up

Oh for the love of all things flat. A 61-year-old man built himself a steam-powered rocket so he could propel himself into the air to prove the Earth is flat. I know, I am still shaking my head too. Looking like Wile E. Coyote, mad Mike launched himself at about 350mph into the air to 1,875 feet before landing really, really hard in the Mojave Desert. Fortunately, he did have a parachute and a backup chute so despite the thud landing he only suffered minor injuries. Mike said ‘My story really is incredible,’ ‘It’s got a bunch of storylines – the garage-built thing. I’m an older guy. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, plus the Flat Earth. The problem is it brings out all the nuts also, people questioning everything. It’s the downside of all this.’

Blahahahah it brings out all the nut? Really?

PSST Mike still believes the world is flat.

 

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Might Want To Check Your Liver

Attention recent British liver transplant patients, you might want to check to see if your liver has your surgeons initials burnt into it. Apparently if  your surgeon brands your organs without your consent it is assault. Who knew? The surgeon in question has pleaded guilty in the unprecedented case.

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt

Texas Man 0, Armadillo 1

A word of warning to those attempting to shoot an armadillo. Their armour is like a shield of steel (quoting wise words of Batfink). A guy in Texas tried and the bullet ricocheted back into his face. He was airlifted to hospital and his jaw wired shut.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Whoops!

Watch Out For …Oh Nevermind

A grumpy pedestrian was too busy thumb waving at a car that he forgot to take note of pole. Karma right?

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Wreckingballs

Look away. A Kung Fu master is encouraging his students to swing large wooden boxes full of bricks from their genitals to help overcome erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. Will it though?

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Not What You Want

Look away loons, this is not pretty. A woman in India thought she was getting a cold after feeling a weird nasal sensation . Off she toddled to the docs who referred her to a hospital to have her nasal cavity flush out. When the discomfort continued she went to another hospital where they performed a nasal endoscopy. It was then that they discovered the culprit. A live roach was living in a space between her eyes and brain. Evidently it had crawled up her nose found a nice little bachelor pad and wasn’t going to leave without a fight. It took 45 minutes to remove the squatter after an epic battle using suction and forceps. I hope they sprayed it good.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, That's Gotta Hurt