Category Archives: They Live Among Us !

Hooray for Hollywood

Oh, Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin how could you do it? I have long been eyebrowing the over the top political correctness coming out of Hollywood but this has restored my faith in humanity. Let’s face it, humans by nature are designed to hunt, kill, cheat, steal, lie and deceive to make it through life (some more than others). So whilst we all get hoity-toity about the white people of this world exploiting their privileged existence, I propose a solution. Why don’t they just build a beautiful White Privileged People University where all the wealthy elites can enroll their entitled snowflakes. Problem solved. The precious ones can enroll in courses and degrees such as Social Influencing, Selfies, Exploiting the Masses, Sex Tape Making and How to Spend the Inheritance. Forget the SAT score, if you haven’t got over 5000,000 followers you won’t get in. Your parent must have the funds to support you and your lifestyle without eating into your trust fund. You have to be privileged,  none of those Lottery winners or insurance payout people, there has to be dignity… with the ability to social climb. How much better off would the world be if all the other Universities were free of them. We can only dream.

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, You Go Girl!

You NEED to Let It Go

Two questions, did you make the cover yourself and what on earth could be under it? OK, no, I have a third question. Do you fold, roll or bundle the cover when you leave?

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Most Psychopathic State in America

It is official. A study to determine where the majority of psychopaths live has pinpointed a state in the US. Can you guess? Well, take a bow the good people of Connecticut you are the psychopath capital of the US, followed by California, New Jersey, New York and Wyoming. But wait, if you were thinking Washington DC, as we all were, you are kind of right…per capita it is double that of Connecticut. Well then District of Columbia, congrats you are the most psychotic than any individual state in the US. Oh, and if your occupation is one of these, company CEO, lawyer, media worker, salesperson, surgeon, police, clergy, chef or civil servant high chances are you or a colleague is a psychopath….just saying

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Meet the Markles

Oh, how I love a family fur fight being played out in the media. It’s only been a few days but Meghan Markle’s half-sister Samantha has poked the lion (again). Using her fav form of attack, Twitter, she has given an expose on the mother of the bride during the Royal wedding…..’She looked more like the hockey player in the penalty box.’ Ouch, burn. But our favourite 15 minuter hadn’t quite finished…’The Givenchy was beautiful but I would have put her in a hockey uniform.’ The half-sister is also pissed their family won’t be allowed to use Meghan’s coat of arms. She feels the Royals are no better than them…’You’ve got inbreeding, you’ve got substance abuse, you’ve got alcohol abuse, you’ve got infidelity.’ Oh bless, there goes any chance at a Christmas invite at Balmoral…just saying.

PSST Hands up who would love to see Samantha cop an invite and be seated next to Prince Phillip? Oh pleeeease!!!

2nd PSST Why hasn’t anyone signed the Dooley-Markles to a reality show yet?

 

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Royal Wedding Countdown

Like the good loon I have been steering myself clear of writing about the upcoming nuptials of Prince Harry and the TV actress. BUT, in light of her daddy having the paparazzi follow him around Mexico to take the worst staged shots I have ever seen, I can’t help myself any longer. Are you really sure Harry?REALLY?  You have a few days to make a run for it. I’m not sure you really want to add this branch to your family tree. Daddy has now bailed, brother is persona non grata, her ex-besties haven’t got a nice word, her mum is hiding in the shadows and well, it all seems like a mess. To top it all off, the relis who haven’t been invited have hopped over the Atlantic to be guest commentators on various tv networks. Move over Geordie Shore, the Markles are in town.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

What Goes Up

Oh for the love of all things flat. A 61-year-old man built himself a steam-powered rocket so he could propel himself into the air to prove the Earth is flat. I know, I am still shaking my head too. Looking like Wile E. Coyote, mad Mike launched himself at about 350mph into the air to 1,875 feet before landing really, really hard in the Mojave Desert. Fortunately, he did have a parachute and a backup chute so despite the thud landing he only suffered minor injuries. Mike said ‘My story really is incredible,’ ‘It’s got a bunch of storylines – the garage-built thing. I’m an older guy. It’s out in the middle of nowhere, plus the Flat Earth. The problem is it brings out all the nuts also, people questioning everything. It’s the downside of all this.’

Blahahahah it brings out all the nut? Really?

PSST Mike still believes the world is flat.

 

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Only in Australia

When you have been terrorised by a deadly Eastern brown snake for 6 months but can’t find his hide out, what do you do? Well in Oz you get yourself a jackhammer and you jackhammer the crap out of the surrounding paths looking for its bunker…or alterantively just pack up and leave. The deadly repitilewas eventually found after the family crushed their concrete slabs around the house. Once found a  snake catcher released the angry beast in nearby bushes. OK loons, you know what that means! Sleep with one eye open family, that snake is going to be right back and more pissed than ever. Good luck with that.

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Filed under Friggin Scary, They Live Among Us !