Category Archives: Well I Never

Social Media Outage

Attention people YES there is a global outage of Facebook, Instagram, and Messenger. NO, don’t ring 000, 911 or 999. This is not an emergency. I REPEAT, this is NOT an emergency.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Here’s a Mystery

A dead humpback whale has been found in the Amazon jungle. That’s it, I got nothing!

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You NEED to Let It Go

Two questions, did you make the cover yourself and what on earth could be under it? OK, no, I have a third question. Do you fold, roll or bundle the cover when you leave?

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Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Art Class For A Serial Killer

You know what I hate? When a serial killer, who confessed to killing over 90 women, begins sketching and painting some of his victims in his cell. What the? He gets to do arts and crafts?  Investigators have been encouraging him to draw his victims in chalk, pastels and watercolours in an attempt to identify them. According to the FBI, Sam Little has an eye for detail, especially when capturing their petrified expressions. Very Gacyesque.

Sam Little had gone under the radar for over 40 years until he got kaboomed with Historic DNA. Aint that a bitch. Having been linked to three murders he later confessed to many, many more. As is with some serial killers he chose to kill vulnerable women, such as drug addicts and prostitutes. He also strangled his victims before dumping them in dense forest areas, making it seem as though they died by accident.

Investigators are struggling to identify many of the women as the killings span the length and breadth of the US. Despite this, they have confirmed 36 women so far.

If you suspect one of your relatives is a serial killer off you trot to Ancestry.com and take them down, I say.

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Pilot, Can You Deploy The Air Mask

My actual worst nightmare, sitting next to someone with BO. Apparently, I am not alone. This week a couple were removed from an American Airlines flight because several passengers complained about their chronic body odor. Just so awks. I can remember many moons ago walking into a cloud of BO in an aisle of a supermarket. It was so thick and putrid that the stench cloud engulfed me and then held me hostage. It even infiltrated my clothes and HAIR. I can remember gagging and as customers walked by they gave me side-eye as if it was me. The trauma was real.

PSST Just a little side note, the couple were so stunned they asked people in the terminal to have a whiff. According to them, they didn’t smell so bad.

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Filed under That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

First World Problem

Hands up who hates the “new car scent”? I must admit I hate it. Makes me feel quite ill. Apparently, I am not alone, seems a billion people in China hate it too. In a recent survey, it was revealed that most Chinese drivers prefer poor engine performance or safety than having a car that ponks. To break into the lucrative car market in Asia, Ford is currently working on a patent to eliminate the “new car smell”. Good luck with that.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Mind The Gap

A Russian law student has had it with men manspreading on trains and has taken action into her own hands. Armed with a bottle of water mixed with bleach she is “spray crotching” offenders. Yes, you heard me, she is walking up and down aisles of trains and splashing any man who dares spread his legs to an unacceptable width in the crotch. The mixture is guaranteed to leave the area in question bleached. Manspread shaming has just been taken to a new level. So far no one has reported her because let’s face it, who is going to go to the police?

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Filed under Well I Never, You Go Girl!