Category Archives: Well I Never

That Is Using Your Head

Move over Chuck Norris we have a new macho man. Introducing Jim, the 73 year old Aussie farmer who flew over the handbars of  his motorcycle while checking his crop. When he tried to get up he realised his head wouldn’t stay up. No probs. Jim, with his floppy head, got back on his motorcycle and kept his head up by holding his hair. He made it home and called an ambulance. And that my friends is how you become a bloody legend in Oz.

PSST Jim fractured the first two vertabrae connecting his noggin and is currently wearing a halo but should make a full recovery.

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It’s The Season

If you happen to be one of Estonia’s worst drivers you would have received a nice surprise in the mail for Christmas. The Estonian police sent 700 Christmas cards to their worst drivers. The card, which has no greetings,  features images of car crashes and the annual stats for road accidents. Fa LaLaLaLa La. The so called “Black” Christmas cards have helped slash the road toll since they were first introduced in 2011.

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Sharks on Ice

A freeze bomb in the US is so bad sharks are washing up on the beaches of New England…..frozen. Apparantly they are prone to iced up gills. Hmm, calling John West, John West to New England.

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Beached As

Feet up New Zealand a sleepy dormant fault line has just woken up after a long sleep and it might just be grumpy. According to geologists the Hikurangi subduction zone has begun to move. This little fault has the ability to cause 9.0 earthquakes and the mother of all tsunamis. Sleep with one eye open bros.

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Dumbass Aliens Looking Like Fish

OMG, are you that stupid?

Apparently we are not alone. One ex NASA scientiest believes the reason we haven’t spied a single damn  alien is because they are living underwater on some planet out in deep space. Maybe even under a frozen ocean.
Their survival would be improved because they wouldn’t suffer all the nasty universe issues like exploding stars or space radiation.
He goes even further to suggest they are well protected under a big chunk of ice that makes it impossible for us to contact them. Yep, I’m hearing ya. Mobile phone coverage is a bitch!
The “fish like” aliens are evidently dumber than us because they can’t build fires. Oh well move on, nothing to see hear. Seriously, do we need any more dumbasses in the world?

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Beggars Can’t Be Chosers

Oh for the love of salmonella. When the Cardiff foodbank appealed for donations they were shocked to discover someone had given them a 46 year old can of Heinz kidney soup. The can was so old it still had the price in the old currency and had also been discontinued for over 35 years. The foodbank is now requesting people check dates before donating.

PSST It might still be OK?

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Goldilocks Rang

You know what I hate? When  three bears run amok in your car. This is what happens when you pack your luggage with cookies and croutons…

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