Sprinkle 1, Players 0

Naw Wimbledon…game, set and match.

Jadugar Mandrake Disappearing Act

OK loons, one more time. If you proclaim to be able to get out of a cage after being lowered into a river, you better have a foolproof escape plan. An Indian magician is missing after having been lowered in the Ganges (that alone could kill him) and failed resurfaced. Jadugar Mandrake was tied up with rope and chains inside a cage that was lowered (by a crane) into the murky waters of India’s most infamous river. Family, friends, media and spectators waited in anticipation of seeing the magician emerge but alas after minutes ticked by panic set in. Authorities have yet to find the cage or the magician following an extensive search.

Jadugar Mandrake attempted a similar stunt a few years back but it failed dismally after onlookers could clearly see a fake door in the cage. He was mocked and attacked by angry onlookers.

If by some miracle he is found alive, I think he should seriously consider a different occupation.

Glad I Ain’t That Guy

Sometimes it is better to grab your things and just walk away, no looking back.

Breaking Bad

If only they used their powers for good. A couple in the US turned the kitchen window of their mobile home into a drive-thru window for drugs. Genius. They even had an open/closed sign for convenience. They figured a drive-thru wouldn’t draw as much attention as foot traffic. Unfortunately, their idea came to a grinding halt after police started investigating numerous overdoses in the area. Seems the drugs were allegedly laced with fentanyl. Doh!

You Can Steal A Commercial Plane?

Apparently, a worker at Seattle International Airport got into the cockpit of a Horizon Air Q400 plane and took off down the runway. When the tower realized there was a rogue plane the fighter jets were summoned. For a good thirty minutes, the random guy did loop-the-loops and uncontrolled rolls without any pilot training what-so-ever. His flight plan looked like this…

The fighter jets followed the plane whilst the tower kept in communications with the guy in the cockpit. They were trying in vain to guide him to a nearby military airstrip so they could help him land. Sadly, it was not meant to be. The plane crashed. It has yet to be confirmed whether the plane ran out of fuel or if he deliberately ditched it. Either way very sad for his family.

 

Child’s Play

Just saying

It didn’t take long for the Massachusetts police to nab a shoplifter in Walmart. The fool used Play-doh on the security alarms and left a nice big friggin fingerprint in it. Doh! Fast forward to the Connecticut Forensics Lab and well you can guess the rest.

Beached As Bro

An Aussie tradie scored one for the team when he accidentally dug through the Pacific internet cable causing widespread outages in New Zealand, Vanuatu, Fiji, Tonga and Samoa. Whoopsie. Vocus internet provider was down and out for 10 hours. The tradie was digging a bore when he severed ties with New Zealand.

Failure To Launch

You know what I hate? When you spend a whopping $306 billion dollars on 4 state of the art warships and they are crap. Bummer Germany. Just some of the problems the first of the four frigates is experiencing ; radar and electronics issues , below par flameproof coating on its fuel tanks and lack of sonar and torpedo tubes. Oh and did I mention listing? Yeah, it list slightly to its starboard side. You wonder how anyone got on the moon!

Epic Scare

WTF

Attention people of Hawaii. Get out of your bomb shelters, storm drains, cupboards and caves, there is no ballistic missile heading your way. Whoops, we bad? Seems a Government worker accidentally sent a phone warning to Smart phone users, scaring the sh*t out of them. It didn’t help that the  message said “ this is not  a drill ,seek immediate shelter” all in capital letters. It also didn’t help that it took 40 minutes to retract the message. The streets soon filled with people crying and screaming. One parent was seen shoving his kid down a manhole. Oh the humanity.

PSST Apparantly the man who activated  the text is feeling bad.

It’s The Season

Move over 60 year old can of soup we have a new winner for the “Let’s Donate Crap” to  charity award. A Goodwill store  in California recieved a nice surprise when they opened a box of goodies and found a live hand grenade. The streets had to be evacuated and the bomb squad called. Nice one.