Beached As Bro

An Aussie tradie scored one for the team when he accidentally dug through the Pacific internet cable causing widespread outages in New Zealand, Vanuatu, Fiji, Tonga and Samoa. Whoopsie. Vocus internet provider was down and out for 10 hours. The tradie was digging a bore when he severed ties with New Zealand.

Failure To Launch

You know what I hate? When you spend a whopping $306 billion dollars on 4 state of the art warships and they are crap. Bummer Germany. Just some of the problems the first of the four frigates is experiencing ; radar and electronics issues , below par flameproof coating on its fuel tanks and lack of sonar and torpedo tubes. Oh and did I mention listing? Yeah, it list slightly to its starboard side. You wonder how anyone got on the moon!

Epic Scare

WTF

Attention people of Hawaii. Get out of your bomb shelters, storm drains, cupboards and caves, there is no ballistic missile heading your way. Whoops, we bad? Seems a Government worker accidentally sent a phone warning to Smart phone users, scaring the sh*t out of them. It didn’t help that the  message said “ this is not  a drill ,seek immediate shelter” all in capital letters. It also didn’t help that it took 40 minutes to retract the message. The streets soon filled with people crying and screaming. One parent was seen shoving his kid down a manhole. Oh the humanity.

PSST Apparantly the man who activated  the text is feeling bad.

It’s The Season

Move over 60 year old can of soup we have a new winner for the “Let’s Donate Crap” to  charity award. A Goodwill store  in California recieved a nice surprise when they opened a box of goodies and found a live hand grenade. The streets had to be evacuated and the bomb squad called. Nice one.

Epic Statue Fail

Well this is awks. The recently erected (pun intended) statue in an Adelaide Catholic school has been temporarily covered up until the loaf has been sliced…just saying!!!

I Can See Clearly Now

Sunglasses…..and you?

An Aussie guy who stole a pair of $400 sunnies at a Duty Free store in Bali has been sentenced to 3 months jail. Ironic, considering you could probably buy a fake pair for $1 out on the street. Anywho, he will be out in a few days as he has already spent the time behind bars.

Bomb Fail

Run for your lives it’s a….. A distraught elderly German man rang the cops fearing he had unearthed an unexploded WWII bomb in his backyard. When the police rushed to his house they carefully approached the 40cm long object only to dicover it was a zucchini. Seems a neighbour chucked it over the fence.