Tag Archives: 10 years

Fake News

I am thinking in hindsight if you are going to get 10 years for holding up a bank with a water pistol you might as well have used the real thing. Just saying.  In his defence though,  he told the judge he used the water pistol to make sure nobody got hurt. Naw, lucky the cops didn’t open fire and blow him to smithereens.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Game, Set , Now Go HOME

computer woman 2Nawww, a Chinese woman who has been missing , presumed dead, for 10 years has been found. Oh yeah, guess where? Seems 24 year old Xiao Yun has been enjoying the cool life, living and playing at Internet cafes. When she was 14 she had a mega yell fest with her parents and left. Since then she has been sleeping at various internet cafes and surviving off generous donations from customers. OK, I know , you want to know the burning question….. yep she played the online game CrossFire for most of her time. Living the dream Loons, living the dream.

PSST She must be friggin good at the game by now!

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Filed under Well I Never, You Go Girl!

You Might Want to Sit On A Chair!

You get use to the smell

OK, here’s the thing Alan Derrick, you can’t just roll your dead flatmate under a sofa for ten years, because you were worried you’d be evicted. When Denis Pring (his drinking partner) died in 1998, Mr Derrick panicked because he had been living in his Bristol flat unofficially, so he hid the body under his sofa. Hmm, despite the fact neighbors complained of  an awful smell and a council warden inspected the flat, no one noticed Mr Pring’s body. The source of the ponk was put down to an overflowing toilet and that was that. The body was eventually discovered by council cleaning staff in 2008 when Mr Derrick had moved out of the property. No criminal charges were laid due to his learning difficulties.

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Filed under End Credit, Friggin Gross, Well I Never