Tag Archives: 5 year old

Five Year Old Blamed For Fatal Helicopter Crash

The National Transportation Safety Board in the US have handed down the results of a three year investigation into a fatal helicopter crash which killed 5 people. Seems the probable cause was a 5 year old kid kicking the controls. Yep, the NTSB believe that the daughter of the billionaire businessman, who was sitting on his lap in the co-pilots seat, accidentally kicked the controls, resulting in the pilot quickly pulling up and causing the  helicopter’s main blades to bend and strike the aircraft’s tail. Needless to say the lawyers are disputing the findings. Hmm, if anything it should be the father blamed for having a child on his lap.

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Filed under Well I Never

Russian Cowgirl

Thank goodness, her teeth hurt!!!

A little 5 year old “feral” girl who can only communicate by mooing has been discovered in Russia living with a herd of cows . Police were called to a property in the Ural mountains after concerned locals noticed her and  found the mooing child AND the parents who apparently let her live amongst the bovine.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Toddlers and Tanners

And here you were thinking all day I wasn’t going to mention ……

Tsk, tsk, you under estimate the Loon!!

Tan addict Patricia Krentcil has been accused of sunbedding her 5 year old daughter to the point of burning the kid’s skin .

Psst Still no confirmation she was born in Ohio !!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Show And Hell

A five year old decided to take his stepfather’s jacket to kindergarten for show and tell so he could reveal to his class how his stepdaddy conseals his 10 plastic bags of heroin. Ta-da. It kinda went a bit pear shaped, when the teachers freaked out and stepdaddy appeared at school frantically looking for his stash. Now the little snowflake is in the company of the Department of Children and Families and stepdaddy is waiting for someone to bail him out of jail.

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Filed under Whoops!

Granny Sends The Internet Crashing

Huh?

Whoopsie daisy, a 75 year old pensioner scavenging for scrap metal has been arrested after she single-handedly cut off internet connections in Georgia and neighboring Armenia for several hours. The granny hacked into a fibre-optic cable with the intent of stealing it but instead she successfully cut off thousands of internet users in both countries. Hmm, now she faces 3 years in prison and the wrath of Warcraft players everywhere.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Whoops!, You Go Girl!

Vicious Cycle

Whatever happened to foster care?

Welcome to the world of WTF! An Australian court has decided to award custody of a five year old child to her  heroin addict, sex offender father because her mother is even more of a friggin nightmare than him! The child, who already has behavioral problems and a speech impediment, no doubt stemming from being burned on the butt, attacked by a dog and beaten with a shoe, will now live with dad and his knife/sword collection ( though the court has asked him to remove it). In handing down the decision the magistrate said “The father provides calmer parenting with more clearly set boundaries than the mother does,” Hmm and luckily for the girl, her dad is on a disability pension and hasn’t worked for ten years due to depression so he will have heaps of time to give her all the love and care she needs. The mum, you say? Well let’s put it this way, soon after giving birth to her baby she left the labour ward to buy heroin. Child protection campaigners are mortified, horrified and seriously pissed at the courts decision while the Department of Human Services say they are no longer dealing with the case.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Out On A Limb

You know what’s a bitch? When teachers refuse to help a five year old stuck in a tree for health and safety reasons but dob in the passerby who eventually helps the little snowflake down . The little boy climbed the 20 ft tree and then refusing to budge so the teachers followed the guidelines by leaving him up there while they watched from inside the school. That’s when Kim Barrett spotted him and gave him a hand down. Enter head teacher from Manor school in Melksham.Instead of thanking the good Samaritan she was informed the school had rung the police for trespassing.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Nanny State, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never