Somewhere out there is a would-be kidnapper hanging his head in shame. You had one job….kidnap an 8 year old. What happened? She kung fu-ed you into submission. Amateur. An 8 year old did the old pressure move on the neck of a man who had broken into her home and attempted to drag her downstairs. The little ninja told police she used the “the Cheetah Paw” on the intruder, a move she learnt at Kung Fu class. Meanwhile, police are looking for a man who the girl says “smelled like garbage.” So many levels of hurt.
Tag Archives: 8 year old
A kid in Tennessee has missed over three weeks of school due to suspensions because she stinks. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, that’s what school officials are saying. The 8 year old evidently ponks so badly that the students and her teacher can’t focus when she’s in class. Despite her mother claiming the girl takes good care of herself the school says she sleeps in her clothes and can’t remember the last time she had a bath or brushed her teeth. Um, hello, rather than play the blame game maybe the school and mother should come up with a solution.
A Dollar General employee who got all whipass on some 8 year old kid, by hitting him 25 times with a belt, has been arrested, charged with aggravated assault and sacked. The kid had allegedly been running around the store when confronted by the clerk but things got ugly when the kid threw a cookie at her. She slipped off her belt and began whipping him with it. The boy told police “when she stopped whipping me my pants were actually a little bit warm.”
A nightmare no parent should ever have to face. The disappearance of 8 year old Leiby Kletzky from a day camp in Brooklyn has turned into a murder investigation after a suspect, Levi Aron, allegedly confessed to the murder and then showed police the butchered remains. Leiby had vanished after leaving the Yeshiba Boyan School and was last scene talking with a man. Sadly, his mother was only a few streets away waiting for him. When detectives came a knocking on Aron’s door they were horrified to learn that not only had Aron murdered the child he had used three carving knives to cut up the body. Some of the remains were in Aron’s freezer while the rest was in a dumpster. It is unclear of the motive and appears it may have been a random act. RIP Leiby Kletzky.
An 8 year old brings a loaded gun to his Queens elementary school and sells it to his classmate for $3….priceless. The incident was uncovered when the second boy showed his bargain to his mom when he got home. School officials in Flushing contacted police after one very angry mom rocked up with a “please friggin explain”. Both the little kid and his dad (who owned the Taurus 9 mm) were promptly arrested.
Dear parents, if your child happens to be behaving rather oddly of late we fear he/she may have tried a small bag of white powder handed out by a third grader. Sorry for any inconvenience. An 8 year old at Turner Elementary School in Pittsburgh has had around 60 small bags, of what is feared to be heroin, confiscated by police after he was allegedly caught handing them out to students. The substance is currently being tested. Letters have been sent to parents explaining the situation. Hmm, good luck with that!