McStupid

OK loons, one more time… if have to wait too long for your chicken nuggets please don’t ring 911 to complain . Oh and also don’t block the drive thru lane either . The world has enough hangry people.

PSST Texas

Hello, 911?

Attention loons, I understand that both presidential nominees SUCK but can you please refrain from ringing 911 to vent your disapproval during the Presidential Debates . Seems Kansas police have an issue with it.

When a Cat Hates You

A Wisconsin couple had to call 911 after their cat went commando and held them hostage. Yes, little kitty was none too pleased about something and attacked hubby before cornering them in their home. Emergency services sent help and now kitty is lingering in a shelter, really pissed off now .

Hello, Is That 911?

Montana police rushed to a family house after neighbours reported hearing loud shouting, screams and gunshots . Police set up a perimeter around the house and drew their weapons before approaching. What they found was truly disturbing…. a family sitting around their TV watching the mid-season premier of Walking Dead.

 

Christmas is Ruined

When your elf falls from the shelf there is only one thing you can do…. dial 911 of course. The 7 year old was playing around in the house with a ball when it hit the elf and he plummeted to the ground.  As little children know, it is forbidden to touch an elf, or the Christmas magic will leave the home so she called the cops for assistance. Unfortunately, the whole incident escalated when the police arrived at the door, despite her pleas not to tell her parents, and found the girl in hysterics believing she wouldn’t get anything for Christmas. Hmm, first world problems.

Call of Duty

A big shout out to the two Manchester police officers who responded to a 999 call. The call was made by an elderly couple who told the dispatcher they were lonely. The two cops didn’t hesitate in driving to the 95 year olds’ house and sitting down to have a cuppa and chat with them. “We’ve got to look after people as well, it’s not just fighting crime, it’s protecting people in whatever situation they find themselves”

Meanwhile in Florida a woman rang 911 asking if it was possible for someone to buy her some chicken wings and ciggies because she was too drunk to drive.

People of 911

One more time people, please don’t be ringing 911 to brag about your big muscles…oh and don’t be asking the dispatcher out on a date either. This is really important …the police know how to trace your calls and they will hunt you down, take away your cold beers and drag your dumbass down to the station. Just saying.

This Is An Emergency

Hello, is this 911? Yeah, well my wife threw out my beer. Despite the Florida man being warned about the consequences of misusing the emergency number that didn’t stop him ringing 7 times. On the finally call the man was frantic because a woman outside had opened two of the beers. Sheez, in some parts that IS considered an emergency!

Pizza Travesty

Hello is this 911? I want to make a complaint about Subway. They damn made my flatbread pizza with marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce and they won’t give me no refund. Say What? You can’t charge me with misuse of the 911 system, or I’ll go and friggin ring investigators at Channel 9. Hello, is this Channel 9?

Psst The woman was arrested and charged.

Tired Of Baltimore

The best excuse ever for ringing in a bomb threat . Some Baltimore guy rang 911 claiming he had planted a bomb at Oriole Park and when quizzed by the dispatcher about why , he said he was “tired of Baltimore.” Fair enough. Don’t worry baseball fans no bomb, but the dude is still on the loose.