Actress At A Loss

In breaking news Lindsay Lohan has lost half a finger in a boating accident. I wonder which finger?

A Google Street View Car Named Disaster

Well that is just awkward. A Google Street View car crashed into another car while going the wrong way up a one way street. Hmm, should have used Google map…..oh never mind. Both vehicles were towed away.

Only A Flesh Wound

Definition of awkward? The clumsy Indiana police chief who waltzed into a gun store and accidentally shot himself in the leg after it got caught in his clothing. Hmm, anyone else got an adjective to describe this calamity? Anyone?

Moral of the Story

When driving with multiple five-gallon buckets of latex paint on the backseat, you need to take extra care or ….

Psst Washington

Want sauce with that?

Mystery Deepens Over Death of American journalist Michael Hastings

When I first heard that American journalist Michael Hastings (33) had died in a car accident last week my eyebrow went up. I knew by the strange obituaries and the scant news reporting that something was up but I didn’t write about it because I didn’t have enough info (OK fine, yes, you got me, it was really because I’m scared of spooks). I went on Twitter and I searched the net to see if anyone else thought his death was suspicious too. There was only a sprinkle of like minds, so I thought I would leave it well alone. But now, fellow conspiracy theorists,  it seems his death in a fiery car crash is beyond suspicious. For those of you unfamiliar with his name, Hastings wrote an article in the Rolling Stones entitled the “The Runaway General” which basically lead to General Stanley A McChrystal’s embarrassing downfall. Evidently, just prior to his death he sent some disturbing emails to fellow colleagues telling them he was onto a “big story” but feared he was being investigated by the FBI and needed to “go off the radar” for awhile. Despite witnesses saying there was an explosion before his car hit a tree at high speed the LA police say there were no signs of foul play. Stay tuned Loons.

Mommy, That Isn’t Marty the Zebra

OK, I really shouldn’t laugh but a cinema in the US accidentally mixed up Madagascar 3 with Paranormal Activity 4 , resulting in pack of screaming snowflakes and their parents running for their lives. As luck would have it the most terrifying scene of the movie is right at the beginning, when a body flies straight at the camera. Well, that would have certainly made them spill their slushies and popcorn. Good luck getting those kiddies to sleep EVER!!!

Psst No word on how many horror fans were scarred watching Madagascar 3!!!!

Blind Attorney Hit By Cyclist

You know what I hate? When a blind man gets run down by a cyclist in Central Park and the victim happens to be an attorney and disabled rights activist. Hmm, that’s a suing right there city of New York. Yes, no, he’s not suing the cyclist only the city!!!! Nothing is just an accident anymore.

Want sauce with that?