Tag Archives: Adolph Hitler

Hitler’s Bedsheet Anyone?

Not the sheets!!!

Hey Loons, get your pocket money out, Hitler’s bed sheets are up for auction. Oooh, imagine rolling around in that Nazi linen? A single white bedsheet and pillowcase embroidered with swastikas and Adolph’s initials could be yours for around  £3000. Seems Hitler’s trusty housekeeper Anni Winter removed a lot of Hitler’s personal items after he and Eva commited soup pudding in the bunker and the items are  now resurfacing around auction houses in Europe. Hmm, I have my doubts Adolph ever slept in a single bed, unless of course Eva kicked him out for snoring. Anywho, anyone who doesn’t fear bad karma can bid next week in Bristol.

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Hitler’s Reading Glasses Anyone?

Good lord, when will this Hitler memorabilia stop. The latest must have Nazi collectable is Hitler’s reading glasses. Yes, the dictator was as blind as a bat. Seems he was embarrassed by the whole  ‘Ican’t see a friggin thing’ and refused to be photographed wearing them. From 1933 onwards all his speeches were typed in extra large print with huge line spaces. Vanity is such a bitch! The glasses could be all yours for £5,000 or if they aren’t your cup of tea, there are numerous other assorted Hitler goodies up for grabs at the Hermann Historica Munich auction house in Germany.

Psst Oh and by the way if you are a Neo-Nazi don’t bother bidding, you’ve been banned!

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Nazi Dictator was a Lead Foot

OMG, guess who got caught speeding in their suped up Merc in 1931? Adolph Hitler that’s who. Pity the fool who pulled that friggin dictator over. As expected the Nazi leader tried to wiggle his way out of paying by claiming it was his lookalike chauffeur Julius Schreck driving. According to records unearthed in a Bavarian archive,  Hitler was going 34.3mph (55.3kmh) which was double the allowed speed limit. He should have been banned from driving for that irresponsible behavior on the roads. The speeding ticket was stamped with the word “settled” on it but experts are doubtful Hitler coughed up the fine. The date of the ticket was marked as the day after Hitler’s half niece, Geli Raubal, shot herself in the head with his pistol which have many to speculate that he may have been racing back to Munich for damage control. As for officer Probst who sent the summons to Hitler, nothing was ever heard of him again.

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Want To Sip From A Poison Chalice?

Egads, guess what’s coming up for auction? A set of swastika etched wine glasses once owned by Adolph Hitler. It’s true, they even have his initials etched on them. It is believed the goblets were taken from Hitler’s bunker before it was destroyed. There are only 4 of them so don’t plan a big party.

Psst Ewh, to think  that Hitler may have had his lips pursed around the rims of these !

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Hitler Ringtone

Oh no you dumbass, don’t be using an Adolph Hitler speech as your ringtone  for goodness sakes, that’s a friggin jail sentence in Germany. The 54 year old man’s cell phone spewed out Hitler rantings about the “destruction of world Jewry” each time it rang during a train journey in Hamburg. Horrified passengers alerted authorities and well, you can guess the rest,  police were waiting to arrest the Fuhrer fan when he got off the train. When they checked his phone they also found images of swastika stickers and photos of Hitler. If convicted the man could spent 6 months in the brink because hello,  it’s illegal to have public displays of the Nazis or their work in Germany.

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Hitler’s Merc is Sold

The most famous Mercedes, other than the one Princess Diana died in, has been bought for an estimated £5m. Yes, Adolph Hitler’s midnight blue 770 K model Merc, part of his Nazi fleet has sold to a Russian billionaire. The infamous car had been hidden away in a collector’s garage in Bielefeld along with 7 other Nazi vehicles (which he also snuffled up). Included in the collection was a similar Merc driven by the then Nazi foreign minister Joachim von Ribbentrop who ended up at the end of a noose after the Nuremberg trials. Prior to the sale, the car had been on tour in Europe and Las Vegas.

Psst Please don’t tell me they run on gas!

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Hitler’s House Up For Sale

Adolph Hitler's childhood house up for sale

What only 2 million ?

Hmm, if you have a spare £2m and don’t mind a shit load of scary tourists and a pissed off council you might be interested in purchasing Adolph Hitler’s childhood home. Yes siree, the house or should I say pub  where that devil spawn was born is on the market despite worries it will become a fascist shrine. Momma Hitler gave birth on the first floor of the Gasthof Zum Pommer pub in 1889 and despite the room no longer being there the local authorities in Braunau-am-Inn, Austria are besides themselves hoping the property won’t end up in the hands of extreme right wingers and become a shrine to Hitler’s memory. If they only had enough money in their own kitty they would have purchased the pub themselves but instead are hoping to block the sale in whatever manner they legally can. Heil that!

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Hitler Was a Woman?

And then I can get boobs this big!!!

And then I can get boobs this big!!!

WTF, Hitler was a woman? Oh hell there is an implication for history books. It seems either Hitler was a South African runner or it  wasn’t him dead  in the Berlin bunker. Hey don’t shoot me I am just the messenger, blame it on US archaeologist Nick Bellantoni who believes the surviving fragments of Hitler’s skull are too thin to be a male. Even DNA tests from the US confirm the skull is more likely to belong to a woman in her 20’s to 40’s. Eva Braun has been eliminated because she didn’t end it with a bullet! Hmm, shame they doused the couple’s  bodies in petrol and made a bonfire out of them! Oh the inhumanity of it all. The Jews wont be happy! Geez, just when I stop looking for Anastasia.

Psst Someone is in deep shit. KGB maybe?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Denial, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never, Whoops!

Friggin Cats That Look Like Hitler

I have ways of making you meow!

I have ways of making you meow!

OK, I was in a bookshop the other day and came across this friggin book about friggin funny websites and I opened to the page on “Cats that look like Hitler”. As you know I love to share, so if you want to have a huge big belly laugh click here Cats That Look Like Hitler…lol! I swear the website starts to get a bit creepy because they all kinda look like him (I wonder if some of them only have one ball too?). If you got a putty that looks like the Nazi you can send them a photo, they have thousands of them posted on the site (dear god, Boys From Brazil).

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