Evidently in Scotland you can get banned from parks for attempting to have sex with trees. Who Knew? William Shaw has been banned from going anywhere near Central Park in Airdrie after it was alleged he dropped his daks and undies and began humping a tree. Oh of course he is pleading not guilty. No word on whether the tree will be laying sexual assault charges. Geez, lucky he didn’t get any splinters! Ewh ouch!
Psst No Loons, I don’t know what type of tree but I suspect it was a hardwood!