Tag Archives: airport

How Grave

There are some things you just can’t explain. Take for example a headstone, with the inscription “you will always be remembered, never forgotten” . It was left at the Dublin Airport and now languishes in the lost and found department.

PSST If by some chance it belongs to one of the loons, you should give them a buzz.

2 Comments

Filed under Whoops!

Sometimes Love Just Isn’t Enough

Honey, sweetie, darl, I hate to break it to you but she is NEVER coming. A love struck Dutchman had to be taken from the airport to a Chinese hospital suffering exhaustion after he waited 10 days in the airport lounge for his online girlfriend to rock up. Evidently she was a no-show because she thought he was joking. Anywho, it was always going to end badly, she wasn’t even there, she was away getting plastic surgery.

4 Comments

Filed under Whoops!, You Go Girl!

Anyone Missing a Boeing 747?

Attention people, if anyone has left a Boeing 747 on the tarmac of Kuala Lumpar’s International Airport you have a fortnight to claim. Evidently, there are three (yes, three) untraceable and abandoned commercial planes at the airport, two being passenger planes. WTF? Apart from a uber security breach, why don’t authorities have any record of who flew them in and why they weren’t flown the hell out. Slapping forehead with my palm as I speak. Hmm, you might want to check to see if one of them is the missing Malaysian Airlines plane, just saying.

abandoned planes

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

Bottoms Up

airport scanner 2You are at the airport and are about to board a plane when the airport security stop you from taking a bottle of expensive cognac on board. What do you do loons, what do you do? Well, if you were the woman with the Remy Martin XO Excellence cognac you damn well scull it, that’s what you do. Yep, she chugged every last drop, rather than see any go to waste. Unfortunately, her rash action went straight to her head and she was found yelling and screaming on the floor near the boarding gate. Yep, legless. Enter wheelchair that carted her off.

2 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Sore Loser

Uber Jet Lag

Ever felt like falling asleep on an airport luggage carousel? This Russian dude did.

PSST I would so do this, if I didn’t fear getting my hair stuck

3 Comments

Filed under Friggin Hilarious, They Live Among Us !

Naked Man On Tarmac Anyone?

Some dude stripped naked  on the tarmac at Manchester Airport after peeing on the terminal building. Not only did he have to face the humiliation of showing off his jangly bits but he got his face slapped by his furious girlfriend before being tasered by the police. Otherwise it was a great hol.

5 Comments

Filed under They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Tadpole Smuggler

Woman caught smuggling tadpole onto planeA woman in China was caught attempting to smuggle tadpoles onto a plane by …wait for it… hiding them in her mouth. Airport security at one of the checkpoints had asked her to drink or discard a bottle of liquid she was carrying. They became suspicious when she poured the liquid into her mouth but refused to swallow it.  She told officials they were given to her as a present. OMG, I don’t know what’s worse, taddies swimming around your chops or someone giving them to you as a gift?

26 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Gross, Friggin Wildlife

Best Diamond Heist EVER

Best diamond heist everSit back and listen wannabe diamond thieves, this is how you do it. Find 7 buddies, dress them in some dark clothes that resemble police uniforms, get two black cars with blue lights on top, cut a car size hole in a security fence at Brussels’ international airport, drive onto the tarmac , point  machine guns at pilots and security then proceed to remove the  $50 million worth of diamonds that is in the hold of a Swiss-bound plane about to take off,  then drive back through the hole in the fence. Ta-da.

Want sause with that?

5 Comments

Filed under Friggin Awesome, Sore Loser, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Perth Is One Of The Most Hated Airports in the World

As the loon waits at the Melbourne airport after spending a week up a tree in the Apple Isle imagine my shock/horror to discover Perth Airport has been voted one of the most hated airports in the world. Bravo, at last we are good at something. Talk about third world! Not so much as a public bus or train in sight. It’s worth flying there just to experience it firsthand!

4 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !

Girls Just Want To Have Fun

You are stuck at the  Buenos Aires airport with a crowd of angry travelers, what do you do? Well, if you’re Cyndi Lauper you grab a friggin ancient airport mic and start singing. One of the most under rated singers of our time.

Psst I’m seeing Lauper in April. Her latest album Memphis Blues is the bomb!

2 Comments

Filed under I'm Just Saying !, You Go Girl!