Tag Archives: al-Qaeda

They Wouldn’t , Would They?

Eiffel Towewr evacuated after bomb scareGeez, crickey, could Al Qaeda be behind the Eiffel Tower bomb scare ? Sacrebleu. 1,500 people had to make their way calmly to the exits after some dastardly person rang police warning that bombs had been placed around the landmark. Authorities are concerned it is the work of al Qaeda, who are a tad pissed at the French intervention in the African state of Mali . Hmm, me thinks it sounds more like le kiddies .  Hello, al Qaeda are a terrorist organisation they wouldn’t ring.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !

Undie Bombs Are Back!

Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle ..kaboom!

Oh no, those ghastly underpants bombs are back, only this time new and improved. Seems al Qaeda are determined to blow up a passenger plane using the knickers approach. CIA uncovered the plot in Yemen. This time the undies contained no metal  and authorities are not sure if they would have been detected at airport security, despite sophisticated scanning equipment. CIA suspect the underwear bomb is the work of master bomb maker Ibrahim Hassan al-Asiri (and wannabe fashionista) minus the printer cartridges. Oh and happy one year anniversary of rotting in hell Osama.

Psst I’m guessing TSA frisking is gonna get a whole lot more risque!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary

Suicide Bomber’s Epic Fail

Oh for the love of Allah, a Moroccan man has been busted big time in Washington DC after donning on a suicide vest and heading into the heart of the US capital  to do some kabooming. What Amine el Khalifi didn’t know was the vest was a friggin fake, provided by undercover FBI agents who he thought were Al Qaeda operatives. Oh awkward! Guess he’ll be kicking himself.

Psst So they hand out suicide vests? Sheez, I always thought they built them themselves. Lazy bastards to boot!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !

Al Qaeda Tell Ahmadinejad To Shut The Hell Up

But then I would have nothing to say!

Oh dear, seems it wasn’t just the UN pissed off with Imadinnerjacket. Yep,  al Qaeda aren’t too happy with his conspiracy theory rants about September 11th either. Hello, messing with their cred! How the hell can you be taken seriously as a terrorist organisation when you have a grey suited fool muddying the waters!

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!

Goofy

Snow White would have a fit. As a new plan of attack by al Qaeda, an affiliate to the terrorist group is planning to make a Disney-like animated cartoon aimed at recruiting children. Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off the work we go…. The cartoon is said to show kids in army fatigues plotting and planning terror attacks. Oh yeah and lets just say it ain’t just Bambi’s mother who gets it!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Page Not Found

There, that should do it, bullies!

The only good hackers  are the ones that shuts down al-Qaeda’s ability to communicate. Over the past few days unknown hackers have infiltrated the terrorist group internet system and through a string of sophisticated techniques brought the whole thing crashing down. Oh well, it’s back to camel carrier communication for you! Well down boys.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, I'm Just Saying !

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Sheez, and here I thought it was just me!

Sheez, joining Al Qaeda isn’t it’s all cracked up to be. Apparently a prerequisite is having to take an  impotency injection to your penis. Don’t want no terrorist thinking with his dick now do we, especially when they have a jihad to worry about, gosh! Abd al-Rahim al-Nashiri who was gently persuaded by the CIA to spill his guts said he took the powerful chemicals to stop himself from being distracted by women.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never

And This Little Piggy

Those friggin Al Qaeda swines , how dare they use  a cute  adorable piglet with red wellies to cyber attack the US.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !

Al Qaeda Planting Peaceful Sleeper Muslims in the US

I knew it, I friggin knew it!

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Filed under Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !

Tossed Salad Anyone?

Psst, anyone know where I can find the nearest Sizzlers?

Remember the al Qaeda group who tried to blow up planes using two toner cartridge bombs? Well, I have it on good authority (CNN) they were going to poison salad bars and buffets throughout the US first but decided against it. Hmm,  probably because they wouldn’t get the credit for it.  Hello, there could be any number of things that could kill you stone dead in those friggin salad bars. Anywho, US Authorities received info that the terrorist group were planning to lace food supplies with ricin and cyanide. Despite the threat being credible the US officials didn’t bother warning the public because they believed it was beyond the capabilities of the terrorist organization and was merely a tactic not an actual plot. Hmm, just like flying planes into New York?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Scary, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never