Tag Archives: alien abduction

Beam Me Up Kirsan Ilyumzhinov

Blahahaha, they'll never get to the moon the rate they are going!

There is a new twist in the alien abduction of Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the governor of the Russian republic of Kalmykia and a former president of the World Chess Federation. After his admission on Russian telly last week about being beamed up to a space ship in 1997, a Russian parliamentarian wants him questioned by Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. Hmm, he’s worried the governor may have given the aliens “secret info”. Geez, that’s presumptuous. Dude, they are beaming people up in spaceships, they don’t want your 90’s technology, especially on submarines or Lada Rivas!

Psst Ilyumzhinov claims he has three witnesses to the abduction ” my driver,  my assistant and my minister”. In other words the butcher, the baker, the cabinet maker!

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Earth Is a Supermarket For Aliens?

Hmm, looks like the aliens are having a BBQ, they just beamed up a quarter pounder. Derek Bridges, who is 69, filmed what he believes is a UFO abducting a buffalo from a paddock in Basingstoke, Hampshire. I don’t know loons, what do ya think, too much sherry?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!

Mommy, An Alien Ate My Teacher

Just when the bed wetting was under control!

Just when the bed wetting was under control!

Can we have some councillors to Southway Junior School in west Sussex ASAP. OK,here’s the thing people, when you decide to stage a “War of the Worlds” type show for little kiddies, which include a teacher being abducted by aliens, make sure you notify the parents first (or there will be tears and some trauma). The Southway Junior School, with the help of Sussex police, decided to put on a little show as part of a writing skills lesson.The headmistress and teachers informed the 370 students that a UFO had crash landed near the school and then encouraged them to “follow a trail of debris” in search of it. To make it more authentic the police cars had their sirens blaring and blue lights flashing. When the 7 year olds eventually stumbled across the alien craft they  were horrified to witness an alien emerge from the wreckage, grab a teacher and carted him off.The kids were then sent back to the classroom. Hmm, Ok sure most of the students caught on it was make believe but some were left dazed and confused. One parent said “My daughter was deeply upset by it all and came home looking shell shocked”.  I am sure Orson Wells would have been chuckling.

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!