Tag Archives: aliens

Dumbass Aliens Looking Like Fish

OMG, are you that stupid?

Apparently we are not alone. One ex NASA scientiest believes the reason we haven’t spied a single damn  alien is because they are living underwater on some planet out in deep space. Maybe even under a frozen ocean.
Their survival would be improved because they wouldn’t suffer all the nasty universe issues like exploding stars or space radiation.
He goes even further to suggest they are well protected under a big chunk of ice that makes it impossible for us to contact them. Yep, I’m hearing ya. Mobile phone coverage is a bitch!
The “fish like” aliens are evidently dumber than us because they can’t build fires. Oh well move on, nothing to see hear. Seriously, do we need any more dumbasses in the world?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Well I Never

Maybe We Aren’t Alone

Anyone heard about the Fast Radio Bursts? Anyone? Anywho, the source of the strange bursts of radio energy known as Fast Radio Bursts (pulses of light a billion times brighter than anything else on Earth) have long been a mystery to scientists. But hold onto your tin foil hat loons Aussie scientists now think that the signals are coming from outer space and thus extraterrestrial. What does this mean? Who friggin knows ….but ET might just be phoning home!!!!

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Filed under Friggin Awesome

Aliens Are Coming

death-starA bizarre ‘Death Star’ has been spotted over Japan and some conspiracy theorists believe it is a puff screen hiding aliens. Oh dear god, I will be there in 2 weeks…guess I will be packing my foil hat just in case.

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Filed under Friggin Japan

Apocalypse Free Zone Is In France

Small village in France is a doomsday free zone

Hi, make yourself at home

For all of you worried about the Mayan doomsday prediction, I have some good news. Seems a little farming community in Bugarch, France, is an apocalypse free zone. Yes siree, those lucky enough to be there on the 21st December will be spared, thanks to the aliens living in the mountains. Yes, there aliens in them there hills. UFO watchers and Armageddon tourists have been flocking to the town after hearing word of “The land of immortality.” and the mountain of aliens. You still have time loons, you still have time.

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

This Just In

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious

Beam Me Up Bro

Eh, bro!

Seems there has been  “unprecedented” UFO sightings  in New Zealand’s North Island in the past two months. Sheez, move on aliens, nothing to see there!

Psst 80-90% of sightings usually turn out to be  the bright shining Venus not alien spacecrafts.

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under Join the skeptic club!

The Shroud Still Shrouded In Mystery

After years of testing and re-testing the mysterious Shroud of Turin in an attempt to prove or disprove it was the burial cloth of Jesus Christ,  Italian government scientist have finally come to a conclusion. Yep, the cloth is supernatural.Reason? No technology today can reproduce the damn thing. The scientist got close by using high-intensity ultra violet lasers but no medieval hoaxer could have got close to pulling  it off (not even that smart ass, Leonardo). Therefore “The implications are… that the image was formed by a burst of UV energy so intense it could only have been supernatural.” Hmm, so in other words Aliens huh?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Join the skeptic club!, Well I Never

The Dumbest Excuse Ever to Buy a High Powered Rifle

When Dane Eisenman bought a .30-06 rifle from a classified ad he told the seller he was buying it to kill friggin aliens. No loons, not illegal ones, the ones from outer space. Seems every 36,000 years the bastards that live under the sun come down to Earth to kill us. Eiseman said he needed to be prepared as they were coming soon. Of course after the sale the seller reported him to police and well what do you know? He’s a convicted felon and legally prohibited from owning a fire arm. Sheez, stuff that, what about the friggin aliens?

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

We Are Not Alone!!!!

Oh crap, scientists believe they have found signs of life on Saturn’s moon. Yes, Titan, Saturn’s biggest moon, might have primitive alien lifeforms living off the fuel on its surface and breathing in the crap from its atmosphere. Sheez, I hope they don’t want to come to Earth and live, as if we don’t have enough mouths to feed and our health system is already overloaded without having them getting free medicals too! Imagine having to protect our atmospheric boarders (Arizona would have a fit!). OK, one big  bummer for the alien life form is scientists believe they are probably methane-based (we are water based), which mean no intergalactic  relationships ladies!!!!  Hmm, which may also explain why so many cows have been abducted? Anywho, you can read all the scientific gobbledygook here USA Today.

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, I'm Just Saying !, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never

Those Friggin Aliens!

Hi, just messing with ya!

OK, no need to panic but WTF, remember NASA’s Voyager 2, the unmanned probe that was blasted off into space 33 years ago? No? Well anywho, the damn thing has begun transmitting bizarre, unintelligible signals according to German UFO expert Hartwig Hausdorf. Mr Hausdorf believes aliens have hijacked the probe which is now located near the edge of the solar system. Hmm, maybe they are just sick and tired of hearing a loop of 70’s music and greetings in 55 different languages so are sending us back some of our own medicine? Oh and NASA’s spin on the thing….  it’s a glitch in the computer memory….. but we know better than to believe them, now don’t we loons!

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Filed under Evolution Be Damned!, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Scary, Join the skeptic club!, They Live Among Us !, Well I Never, Whoops!