Tag Archives: armed robbery

Bumcrack Bandit on the Loose

Attention loons, the bumcrack bandit is at it again. Yep, a woman wearing low slung jeans and wielding a silver gun has robbed a hotel in Queensland. Media have nicknamed her the bumcrack bandit after her butt was exposed when she jumped over the counter and was caught on CCTV.She is believed to be linked to a police shooting. If by some weird chance you can identify her ass I wouldn’t approach her …Ewh!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious

There Is No Bassist For This

OK, here’s the thing Michael “Mic” Todd, bassist for Coheed and Cambria, before a gig it’s not wise to go hold up a Walgreens so you can get 6 bottles of Oxycontin. No sirree, the cops will identify the cab you jumped into and track you down before you go on stage, arrest your sorry ass and  then hold you on $10,000 bail. Todd allegedly waltzed into the pharmacy, showed a message on his cell phone saying he had a bomb and demanded the painkillers before fleeing in a taxi to the stadium he was about to perform at. Bummer, I expect that from a drummer not a bassist!.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never

Family Dollar Store Robbery Fail

Trying to rob a Family Dollar Store pretty much always ends in tears. Hmm, but in this case, it ends with a casket and a hospital bed. Allegedly two men with guns confronted two armored truck guards after as one guard walked from the Chicago store with a bag of money.Long story short, the guards were able to shoot the men despite one having a sawn off shotgun shoved under his chin and the other a gun in his back. Both suspects were shot in the head, with one dying at the scene and the other being rushed to hospital in a critical condition. Neither guard was injured. WTF, were they friggin ninjas?

Want sauce with that?

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Filed under I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, Whoops!

Life Sentence For Stealing Socks at WalMart

Separated from the rest of the flock!

Bummer, a shoplifter has been given a life sentence for stealing a packet of $4 socks. Problem it seemed was Dean Rockmore was also was carrying a gun and flashed it at a Walmart employee when confronted in a parking lot after fleeing the store with his footwear. Hmm,  so technically that’s “armed  robbery” right there  and as  Mr Rockmore was a friggin re-offender a life sentence is mandatory.

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Filed under Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Sore Loser, Well I Never, Whoops!

The Man Who Fell to Earth

WTF. Rip Torn, remember him? Well it seems he’s a bank robber now. Say it ain’t so Rip? It is alleged on Friday night a very pissed Rip (78) broke into the Litchfield Bancorp building in Salisbury, armed with a loaded revolver. When police arrived  there he was in all his glory off his rocker. I guess we won’t be seeing him again on our screens anytime soon. RIP in peace.

Psst Geez, if Rip Torn can break into a bank anyone can!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Dumbass, I'm Just Saying !, Whoops!