Selfie No No

One more time tourists, please don’t be doing no butt selfies when visiting a Buddhist temple in Thailand. Your reward for exposing your ass and posting it on instagram is an embarassing arrest at the airport and a fine for your efforts. Just saying.

Too Easy

You know how I just love a good burglar story. Introducing our dumbass burglar of the week award. Stand up and take a bow the dude who, while attempting to rob a second hand store, spilled a tin of white paint and then proceeded to walk through it. The sound you just heard was my palm slapping on my forehead. It took police a matter of minutes to find your silly white foot trail that lead straight to your door. Oh the humanity!

PSST England

Turn The Other Cheek

Ooh la la. A French thief who planted a kiss on the cheek of his victim has been caught thanks to his slobber. Yep, DNA is a bitch. Pierre and his sidekick followed an employee of a jewelry store home, tied her up, gagged her and poured petrol over her head until she revealed the codes to the stores alarm system and safes. One of the dudes then went and robbed the store while the other one watched over the terrified woman. When the job was completed Pierre untied the woman and gave her a kiss on the cheek.  Poor Pierre. His DNA was registered on the national genetic database.

Always Retrieve Your Body Parts From Crime Scene

A little word of advice to all would-be thieves, please don’t leave your severed finger behind at the crime scene as the police can and will get a finger print. Seriously, that is common crime sense 101. When a technician found a severed finger in a spool of copper wiring he gave the police a buzz and they ran the print. When they went to arrest the fool ,surprise, surprise he happened to be missing a digit. Oh the humanity.

Kitty Litter Fight Ends In Tears

Refuse to clean the kitty litter? That’s a death threat from your knife welding hubby right there. But on the bright side he gets a charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and a $1,000 bail bond for his troubles. No word on whether the cat still has its legs crossed.

Want sauce with that?

You Broke My Bong!!!!

A word of warning, never, ever break your boyfriend’s bong or he may just pull a gun on you. Well, if you live in Florida, he might!

Man Confesses To Etan Patz’s Murder

The mysterious disappearance of Etan Patz may have been solved with the arrest of Pedro Hernandez (51). Patz disappearance on his way to school in 1979 sparking a nationwide campaign that saw his face become the first of many to appear on the side of milk cartons.

The amazing turn of events unfolded after police began digging in a basement of another suspect who they feared had buried Etan under cement. An anonymous tipster (believed to be a relative), who saw the coverage, contacted police with new information.

Police said Hernandez, who worked in a grocery store near where Etan disappeared and had never been a suspect, looked relieved when taken in for questioning. He confessed to police that he had lured the little boy into the store with a can of soda before strangling him in the basement. He then told police he stuffed Etan’s body into a bag and threw it in the trash where it was most likely picked up by city sanitation workers. Other reports say he dismembered Etan before discarding the body in various plastic bags.

* Reports are now claiming the family contacted police soon after Hernandez confessed to killing the boy in 1979, however police dismissed Hernandez as a nutter after interviewing him. Article here.

Pedro Hernandez would have only been  18 when he killed Etan.

Pedro Hanandez was recently diagnosed with cancer.

You Gotta Be La Kidding Me

It took French customs, social security and the police transport division, several months of surveillance of a Paris souvenir shop before they finally made an arrest.Drugs do I hear you say? Tsk, tsk, it was 13 tons of mini Eiffel Towers. Seems the family run souvenir shop were selling them without a permit. Those bastards! Father, mother and son were all arrested.

Facebook Photo Fail

Ok, one more time people, do not and I repeat do not, duct tape your baby and toddler then post the pics on Facebook. That’s a defriending and arrest right there. The Arizona couple not only bound their little snowflakes by the hands and wrists they put the tape over their mouths and hung one of them upside-down on a piece of exercise equipment before taking photos and posting them. One of the Almuina’s friends then dobbed them into police. The Almunias told the cops they were just joking! Hmm, I bet the kids have a different version.

Man Arrested Over Collar Bomb

Remember the Maddie Pulver “collar bomb” case in Sydney a few weeks back? Yeah, well, they have arrested a 50 year old man in Kentucky over it. NSW police have been working closely with the FBI to make the arrest. The man is believed to be an Australian bussinessman who commutes from Australia to the US. They have yet to release too many details but it appears to be an extortion plot and there is a link between the man and the Pulver family. Well that’s kind of embarrassing, dumbass didn’t even have a chance to list his demands.