Tag Archives: asteroids

What Is The Odds?

It seems when it comes to the end of the world both NASA and the European Space Operations Centre love scaring the beegezus out of us. ESOC are now on the “death by asteroid” bandwagon, predicting it is just a matter of time before KABOOM. But don’t fear earthlings, Europe is setting up a series of telescopes which will give us a 3 weeks heads up on any wayward asteroids . Well that is handy for NO ONE!!!!

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NASA Loves To Scare Us

OK loons, no need to panic just yet but NASA have just announced they have discovered 114 new “near earth objects” with 10 being asteroids that could potentially kaboom us. NASA have released a video showing all the potential death rocks but you know what? It was so boring I didn’t bother.

PSST  Evidently, foil hats wont save us.

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Thanks A Friggin Lot NASA

NASA says to pray if a large asteroid heads to earth  OK loons, you might want to scratch NASA and Bruce Willis off your contact list. They ain’t gonna save you if an asteroid comes a calling. In fact, the advice from NASA’s chief is ….. pray. Yep, he says, no can do to saving our sorry asses if an asteroid comes hurtling towards us. Evidently, NASA have found 95% of  all asteroids that are big enough to wipe out civilization but they say none pose an immediate threat. No word on the 5% by any chance? And anywho, the big ones aren’t what we should be worried about, the fact that NASA didn’t see the Russian asteroid coming makes me more way more nervous and makes me question what the hell they do all day? Hmm, now where did I put my hard hat?

 

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Friggin Asteroids

Ignore it and it will go away!

Ignore it and it will go away!

Holy flamin asteroids Batman. Dear god, forget about the financial mess the world is in, we have more pressing problems, friggin asteroids (as if we don’t have enough to worry about). Scientists have told the UN delegations in Vienna that, despite it being a relatively slight risk of an asteroid collision, it would have devastating consequences and we need to act now. They also threw in, for good measure (and fear of course), the fact that 65 million years ago the dinos and just about everything else that had a heartbeat was annihilated the last time a whopping asteroid came to town. So what do the scientists want? Hmm, they are pushing for an international network to be set up to search the skies for potential incomings.The network would be responsible for sending up spacecraft to destroy or at least deflect any big chunk of flying rock coming our way. I swear I saw Bruce Willis in a similar plot line. Well, I guess the scientists might have to wait a while, as the United Nations are pretty busy with their billion dollar UN Headquarters refurbishment project and their big friggin $23 million ceiling mural. Did I mention the people starving in Africa? Ha, the UN didn’t either!I can’t imagine the clunky old space shuttles would be of any use shooting down asteroids.Maybe they should just put a rocket launcher on the International Space Station and be happy with that! George Bush is just praying that a friggin asteroid doesn’t hit earth before 21st January. That would be the icing on the cake for his friggin legacy list.

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Filed under Denial, Friggin Scary, Well I Never