OK, note to self, don’t say you were attacked by a psycho knife wielding clown as an excuse for being late for work. Just saying. An Ohio woman fibbed about the clown and now she has paint on her face. That’s a charge right there. Seems the fence jumping, knife slashing clown was a figment of her imagination…. we hope.
PSST Friggin Ohio, home town of Bearman
A Wisconsin couple had to call 911 after their cat went commando and held them hostage. Yes, little kitty was none too pleased about something and attacked hubby before cornering them in their home. Emergency services sent help and now kitty is lingering in a shelter, really pissed off now .
Holy haunted dolls Batman. A guy in Alabama claims he was attacked by his girlfriend’s dolls. Phillip’s girlfriend, Nicole, has 100 dolls in her bedroom of which two evidently scratched him while he was sleeping . Nicole, who can communicate with the spirits, believes the dolls are possessed by “two man” hating women who both had murdered their partners, which is why they “acted out” on her boyfriend. She has now removed the two nasty assed dolls from her bedroom due to fears they may continue to torment him. Hmm, so what about the 98 others? Sleep with one eye open Phillip. Nicole claims she has been collecting “spirited” dolls since the age of 12 when she got her first possessed one. Some of the dolls that she buys aren’t haunted until they begin mingling with her highly spirited ones. Nicole also claims the dolls like to have a good laugh but only when she leaves the room because they don’t want to “show” in front of her. She can hear them though.
Want source with that?
Is it wrong to laugh? Kinda wish the goose went a little more terrorist on her.
Feet up everyone. A South Korean woman has been attacked by her robot vacuum cleaner. The rogue machine waited until the woman was snoozing before making its move. With stealth the VC zipped over to her and sucked up her hair refusing to let go. A struggle ensued but the VC wasn’t about to give up. Eventually she managaged to ring emergency services, who rushed over and found the evil robot attached to her head. No word on the fate of the rogue vacuum cleaner but the woman will no longer be taking naps on the floor while vicious cleaner appliances are around.
A man and woman, who were being attacked by a polar bear were rescued by their naked neighbor. Fortunately naked man had a shovel to dong the bear on its head but wasn’t quite quick enough to avoid a little wrestle and a few lacerations. One witness said “I actually didn’t realize there was a person underneath the bear until I saw a hand waving. I panicked and started crying. It’s a miracle he’s OK. I’m still in shock.” You’re in shock, spare a thought for the poor bear!
Just another reason to man up at Walmart. A cute little two year old boy was wearing his mom’s frilly pink headband when some dude, with a bushy beard and camouflage shirt, came up to him flung it off his head and then gave him a cuff across the ear. He then grumbled “You’ll thank me later, little man!” Needless to say the kid’s mother went friggin ballistic but all she got in response was …. “Your son is a f*cking fa***t.” Sheez, lucky he wasn’t wearing the matching dress!!!
One more time people , don’t be feeding the big old hungry bear while going on a bike ride during a church picnic. That’s a mauling right there. The man , who had been drinking a tad, came across the bear during the ride and threw him a piece of barbeque meat. Unfortunately, when he threw a second piece, the bear went friggin psycho and attacked him. Obviously,it wasn’t cook to his liking. The man was later discovered by a park ranger, washing the blood from his puncture wounds at a campground.
A woman in North Carolina has been charged with assault using a deadly Bible . The woman allegedly used the Good Book to thump another woman, leaving her covered in cuts and bruises. No word on what the fight was about but I’m guessing it wasn’t Luke 6:29.
Botswana’s president got a nasty surprise while visiting an army barracks last week. He got too close to a cheetah at feeding time and it friggin bit/scratched him in the face. Oh, I have no idea what the cheetah was doing at the barracks either, so don’t ask.