Tag Archives: avoid jail

Dead Man Walking Right Back To Jail

monkey 4Dude, faking your own death to avoid prison only works if you don’t get caught faking a prescription. Man, you were so friggin close to starting a new life in Australia, having obtaining a birth certificate from a dead child and holding out in Canada but you just had to stuff up. Travis Scott was going to the slammer for defrauding an insurance company for $11.5 million but before sentencing he faked his suicide by grinding up some of his teeth, removing pints of his own blood and pulling out clumps of his hair. He then gathered his bits , put them in a cap and then blasted them with a shotgun before leaving the cap in a canoe on a lake. The police were skeptical especially as the suicide note said he had weighed himself down in case he didn’t die from the blast. Dumbass. All his efforts has resulted in 12 years of wearing orange.

Psst Minnesota

2 Comments

Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Whoops!

Thanks!

Oh for crying out loud, what is wrong with this picture? A judge in England decided not to send a man, who attacked two men during a brawl, to jail so he could come live in Australia with his wife and family. WTF, we stopped taking convicts years ago, didn’t we? James O’Neill got a “get out of Jail free” card when his lawyer argued that O’Neill would be unable to enter Australia if he had a custodial sentence.

Want sauce with that?

8 Comments

Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Penis Gluing Women Get A Lucky Break

Oh for anyone interested, remember the four Wisconsin women who glued a man’s penis to his stomach? No? Oh well, anywho they all escaped jail sentences, under the proviso they don’t do it again!

Psst If you somehow missed the story you can find out all about their penis gluing antics here.

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Filed under Friggin Hilarious, I'm Just Saying !, Well I Never, You Go Girl!