Tag Archives: Baltimore

Edgar Allan Poe is Nevermore

In 2010  I wrote a  post about the Poe Toaster, a mysterious person, who, for  60 years, had  visited Edgar Allan Poe’s grave on the 19th of January of every year to leave three roses and half a bottle of cognac next to it.  The reason I had written the post was because for the first time ever, the toaster was a no show. Since 1949 the figure dressed in black and wearing  a wide brimmed hat would appear from the shadows to pay their respects. The event became so popular among Poe admirers that crowds would gather in the wee hours to  catch a glimpse of the Poe Toaster .

Anywho, during my recent visit to the States, I discovered the cemetery was in Baltimore, right  smack bang in the center of town. Yes Loons, of course I went to pay my respects and guess what I found ?


Woohoo, someone had left a half bottle of Cognac.

Psst By the way, the cemetery was nothing like I imagined.  It didn’t have the “boo” factor I was expecting. It is in the middle of Baltimore’s CBD  and very small.


Filed under End Credit

You Don’t Know What you Got Til It’s Gone

colombus-obeliskSome of you may not know this but the Loon also has a public art website (a very big public art website) . I do a lot of research finding interesting , bizarre and crazy facts about statues and sculptures. Anywho, I thought this was hilarious so I thought I would share it. While I was in Baltimore I discovered that the city is the proud owner of  the world’s first  ever monument  dedicated to explorer Christopher Colombus, an obelisk erected in 1792. The funny thing  is the monument has pretty much been ignored because everyone thought it was built in honor of a horse named Christopher Colombus. At one stage they built a Sears Roebucks carpark around it, now it stands amongst some trees in a little park.

Psst Seriously, shouldn’t it be in the Smithsonian?



Filed under Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Good Morning Baltimore



May 5, 2014 · 11:09 am

Tired Of Baltimore

Man tired of Baltimore makes bomb threatThe best excuse ever for ringing in a bomb threat . Some Baltimore guy rang 911 claiming he had planted a bomb at Oriole Park and when quizzed by the dispatcher about why , he said he was “tired of Baltimore.” Fair enough. Don’t worry baseball fans no bomb, but the dude is still on the loose.


Filed under Friggin Dumbass, Well I Never

Shit Happens

Hurry up Fido, I need to go!

A word of warning to all residents of Baltimore’s Scarlett Place who are letting their dogs shit all over the place without scooping it up, they are on to ya.There is a plan underway to have all the dogs DNA tested in the upscale address so they can  catch the culprit/s and it’s owner/s then fine their sorry asses. You think I jest? Next week the condo board will vote to make it mandatory to have all pooches DNA tested.


Filed under Denial, Friggin Gross, Friggin Hilarious, Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never


Stark Raven Mad!

Alas, it has finally happened, the mystery person who for the past 60 years has placed 3 red roses and a half empty bottle of cognac  on Edgar Allan Poe’s grave has failed to show. The no show ends a tradition which started in 1949 when the unidentified person began leaving the gifts at Poe’ grave in the Baltimore cemetery on January 19th. Over the years the many loyal Poe fans have made a pilgrim to the site to try and catch a glimpse of the lone figure, known as the “Poe Toaster”. This year the group who gathered were stunned and saddened to discover there were no roses or Cognac placed on the grave. Nevermore. Hmm, so begins the mystery of what happened to the Poe Toaster.

Psst Maybe a raven got him? Oh wait, maybe a Orangutan!


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never

Now That’s a Friggin House of Screams!

Baltimore policeman pulls gun on haunted house worker

Was it the chainsaw officer?

OK, here’s the thing Mr Baltimore city police officer, when you are in a haunted house attraction and a chainsaw wielding man jumps out at you, don’t pull your gun on him! Geez it’s the “House of Screams” for goodness sakes! Sergeant Eric Janik (who was off duty) has been charged with assault and reckless endangerment after he pointed his police issued handgun at Mike Morrison who was dressed like Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie. Mr Morrison, whose job it was to follow people around and scare the living bejeezus out of them, got a taste of his own medicine when he was left shaking after the incident.


Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Hilarious, Thanks For Nothing, Whoops!