Sometimes it is just easier to rob a bank. A female bank employee was taken hostage by some dude at her home in Phoenix and held overnight. The next day he drove her to the Bank of America , placed a friggin device around her neck and told her to get him money. The cops were alerted , he fled and the bomb squad rocked up and removed the device from around her neck, which turned out to be a fake bomb.
Tag Archives: Bank of America
Oh for goodness sakes David Haskell what were you thinking? The 18 year old climbed on top of the Bank of America ATM machine, kicked through it’s drywall ceiling then dropped inside. Yes, of course Loons, the friggin alarms went off and the police were there in minutes. However, they initial couldn’t see anything wrong until the machine began shaking. Fool had got himself stuck inside. Hmm, the court then had to postpone Mr Haskell’s arraignment because he was still too sore to stand up.
Dalton Chiscolm has gone where no man has gone before. He is attempting to sue the Bank of America for 1784 billion, trillion dollars because he thinks their customer serivce really, truly suks. Evidently what tipped Mr Chiscolm over the edge was when he rang the New York branch and received inconsistent info from a “Spanish woman” about his checks, which had been rejected due to incomplete routing numbers.Oh and not only does he want the bank to put the money into his account ASAP, he has requested an additional $200,164,000, to cover court costs.
Awkward. Before Steve Valdez could cash a check written out to him by his wife, the Bank of America required a thumbprint. That would have been OK if he had any hands! Born with no arms, Mr Valdez was unable to comply with bank policy, despite producing a driver’s license and two forms of ID (with photos). Hmm, seems if you don’t have an account (or hands) you can’t cash a check. But to be fair the bank manager gave Mr Valdez two options, either drag his wife down to the Tampa branch or open up an account! Obviously Bank of America have never heard of the American with Disabilities Act. Have a nice day!
Psst I wonder if a toe print would have sufficed?
OK, I must admit I have gagged on many a person’s perfume, but please! Thirty four staff from a Texas call centre at the Bank of America were taken to hospital after a co-worker squirted some perfume in the air. Hmm, let me guess, was it cheap and nasty? Mass hysteria ensued with people complaining of dizziness, chest pains, headaches and shortness of breath. Many feared it was a chemical attack by terrorists (Eau de Anthrax). In total, nearly 150 people were affected by the fumes and 12 ambulances were required to transport the most badly affected. Fire fighters believe “psychosomatic behaviour” was behind the number of people who fell ill to the perfume. Hmm, or just a really good excuse to get off work! People, are you sure it wasn’t just pepper spray? No word on the name of the perfume but the French are confident it ain’t one of theirs!
Psst : Did I happen to mention they are planning to build an infectious disease facility in Kansas?
This incident reminded me of a viral email…. Shopping in Israel