A woman in Uganda has been told to stop having children by doctors. Reason? She has given birth to 38 of them. Yep, 38 children by the time she was 36. That is like IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII IIIII III. That is a friggin long line to use the bathroom. Ms. Nabatanzi would have had 44 but sadly she lost 8 at childbirth. Recently her hubby up and left, leaving her to support her enormous brood alone. The older children all chip in to help but she struggles every day to put food on the table. Authorities have now banned her from having any more.
PSST: How does she remember their names? There must be a whole lot of “hey you”.
Apparently, the Greeks have had enough of fat arses on their asses. Yes, the poor Santorini donkeys of Greece are no longer going to have to haul fat tourists around the island. They are banning them…fat tourists, not the donkeys. Fact. If you weigh over 100kg you can’t get on a donkey. It is now law.
A Minnesota cat banned from going to the library….you wouldn’t read about it!!!!
Is that a Pikachu?
Iran seems the only sensible country when it comes to Pokemon Go. Banned. No one likes crowds hanging around secret nuclear sites I say.
A naked restaurant will be opening in Tokyo very soon but if you are plump, chubby or downright fat you won’t be allowed in … sorry. The restaurant has made it very clear if you are 15kg over your weight average don’t even think about booking . Blahahaha, plenty of fast food outlets to service your needs I guess? So what does one get for stripping down to just paper undies? Well, for the $750 a head you are served a meal by G-string wearing muscle men and a dance show featuring more male models . I’m guessing everyone is naked so a stripper is pointless, right?
A group of monks in India are hoping the government will allow them to poop in public. Yep, they want to have the rights, on religious grounds, to crap wherever they like. The dilemma facing the government now is, exempt the monks or go with public health initiatives which includes abolishing public defecation by 2019.
A hotel in New Zealand has had enough with unsightly bulges and has banned customers wearing Lycra bicycle shorts. Yep, enough. Management said “when you’re trying to concentrate on your breakfast you just want to see the sausages on your plate.” Fair call.
O Oh, the Japanese police are onto you tosatsu shoe owners, hand them over and go quietly before your family finds out. The “tosatsu shoes” aka voyeur shoes, have built-in hidden cameras that are designed to film up women’s dresses. The Police not only raided the supplier and confiscated their stock but also obtained the mailing list of their customers. Run little voyeurs with your pumped up kicks!!
No petrol, no high
A man from Cleveland has been banned from going near any garage pumps after he was caught drinking petrol …again. The addict loves nothing better than slashing the hose and taking a drink or sniff of gasoline before doing a little jig while high as a kite. A few years back he tried beating the habit by attending meetings but was kicked out due to the stench and the fear he posed a fire risk.
Want sauce with that?
A word of warning to any British man intending to play darts in a competition in Somerset. Forget it if you have long hair, a beard and look like Jesus .Seems it is rather distracting especially when the crowd begins to chant “Jesus, Jesus”. The poor guy was blocked from the event by two security guards before he could even get through the door. Last year he was ejected after the crowd got overly enthusiastic with the Jesus chanting and put the other players off.