A Frozen Chicken Story

OK, what is disturbing about this story isn’t the fact a 67 year old guy breaks in and steals 3 boxes of frozen chicken from a fast food restaurant and makes his getaway on a bike. Nope, it’s the fact when he was caught the boxes of frozen chicken were recovered and returned. Returned loons, returned!!!!!

PSST Jackson, Mississippi

Student Impaled On Bike Seat

Look away bike riders this might make you wince. A Chinese student, who was merrily riding along to school, accidentally fell … but here’s where it all went terribly wrong…. when he fell the seat bent back and a steel rod under the seat went straight up his butt. Onlookers were horrified as the rod was unable to be dislodged. Enter firefighters who had to use the jaws of life to cut away the main part of the bicycle from his rear end so he could fit in the ambulance. Doctors were eventually able to remove the seat from his rectum but said “It damn near killed him!”

Nice Dismount

OK, one more time people, if you are going to use a bicycle as a getaway vehicle when stealing a TV from Walmart, make sure you pay attention or you may just slam into the back of a police car. The fool was too distracted by a policeman chasing him on foot that he didn’t see the other cop drive up ahead and stop. Wham, %#^& , splat.

Dog Day Afternoon

OMG, I’m guessing  it was either hold on tight or be eaten!!!!

Bank Robber Takes Off On His Getaway Bicycle

OK honey, sweetie, darl, no! Robbing a bank and then fleeing on a push bike ain’t the way to go about it. Harley Traverse allegedly waltzed into a Citizens Bank on Rhode Island (took that literally?), handed the teller a note demanding $50,000 in cash (with a warning he had  gun and a police scanner) then proceeded to peddle off. Uh huh, of course he got damn caught, how fast can you friggin peddle?

A Friggin Pedmow

Why the hell didn’t you think of this Jammers, sheez! John Wilson may have been laughed at when he first decided to hybrid a bicycle with a push mower, but who’s having the last laugh now? The New Zealander is getting a whole lot of attention after he put his  “ride your mower” protype on Trade Me (New Zealand version of Craigslist). So far his eco friendly fitness device is up to $210 and rising. Named the Pedmow, Mr Wilson is currently in the process of patenting and finding an investor to mass produce it.

Pedmow

Interested? Here’s some of Q and A’s taken from his Trade Me page…

How do you go around corners?   10:03 am, Fri 21 May
Answer: Goes round corners very carefully, ..Cheers.. 10:33 am, Fri 21 May

whats the top speed? 10:08 am, Fri 21 May
Answer: As fast as you can pedal..Cheers.. 10:38 am, Fri 21 May

Hi, Does it have a bell/horn ? I hate it when chipmunks get in my way 🙂 Genius Idea.   11:01 am, Fri 21 May
Answer: If It sell’s will fit a Bell for free…Cheers..

Do you need to wear a helmet and when does the COF run out,Does it have an option for a drink holder and are the brakes ABS….LOL 12:19 pm, Fri 21 May
Answer: May be..up to you..No..No..No..Cheers.. 1:25 pm, Fri 21 May

Psst Geez, if Jammers had designed it, it sure as hell would have had a beer holder attached. That’s hot work!

2nd Psst One way to scare off the neighborhood cats and/or children.

3rd Psst If you want to bid for this and get your hubby some abs click the PedMow page

Justice Chinese Style

Take note Nanny Staters, no friggin messing around in China. You see thieves on a scooter purse snatching, you throw your friggin bike at them. It’s that simple. Take note however, the do gooder runs liked a scared friggin chicken the moment he realizes the angry robbers are AOK and are about to attack him. Run chicken, run…bok,bok,bok. Fortunately, security guards manage to pick up the pieces and grab the thieves, so the not so brave do gooder could retrieve his now wonky wheeled bike. Bike hurler 1, slow ducking bag snatchers 0.