Tag Archives: birthday

Koko Gets Kittens

Remember Koko the gorilla who can communicate through sign language? Well, she just turned 44 and for her birthday she got to pick a kitten.

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Filed under Friggin Wildlife, Well I Never

Happy Birthday Glenn

applaudBravo Osceola, and the Sheriff and Fire Departments. When a six year old autistic boy, Glenn, invited his classmates to his birthday party, not one child bothered to show. Despite not receving any RSVPs the parents thought at least some kids of the 16 invited would have turned up. Nope. His mom said that “From the minute he woke up that day he wanted to know how many minutes until his friends came,” Sadly, they eventually had to tell Glenn no one was coming. Upset, his mom vented on a Oscela Facebook page, wanting to know if any other parent had experienced the same situation. The response? Next thing she knew 15 kids and 25 adults (strangers) were at her door ready to celebrate with Glenn. One woman even came with a brand new bike. When the local Sheriff’s office and fire department got wind of the story they arranged a belated birthday celebration too. Fire trucks, police cars and a rescue helicopter arrived at his house and he partied all over again. His mom’s response “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

PSST I hope the parents who were a no show are hanging their collective heads in shame. Happy belated birthday from all the Loons.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World

52 Years of Shit

ambulance-2I don’t know what really happened but I am guessing Christmas is going to be awkward. A woman, celebrating her 52nd birthday, had enough of her wheelchair bound mother so she tipped her to the curb…and by tipped, I mean pushed the wheelchair off the curb sending mommy head first into the concrete.When questioned the woman said she did it because of “52 years of shit”. The woman also struck her sister in the face with a camera.

Want sauce with that?

 

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Filed under Thanks For Nothing, That's Gotta Hurt

Happy Birthday Kim Jong Il

Cheers!

Woohoo, it’s you’re birthday, it’s your birthday. So what did you get? Are you having a party? Sheez, you look amazing for 70 21! Shame your son, Kimmy Jong Chol, skipped it in favor of the Eric Clapton concert in Singapore. Second sons suck anyways. For he’s a jolly good fella, for he’s a jolly good fella …….

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Filed under Friggin Awesome, Friggin Kim Jong Il

Poe Toaster A No Show Again

For the second consecutive year the mysterious visitor to Edgar Allan Poe’s grave has been a no show, leading to speculation he’s dead. For around 60 years a mysterious figure has been seen placing three roses and a half empty bottle of cognac on his grave. Known as the “Poe Toaster”, he began appearing sometime around the 1940’s  dressed in black, wearing a white scarf and a wide brimmed hat. Jeff Jerome, curator of the Poe House and Museum, has watched over the vigil since 1978 and is convinced the toaster will not return. Of course “Poe impostors” were out in full force (4 to be exact) but none gave the secret signal (only Jerome knows) or arranged the roses in the unique pattern. People from around the country gathered at the cemetery gates to get a glimpse of the “Poe Toaster” including a teenager who had it on his bucket list, a woman who was named after the Poe poem Raven and a couple from France.

NEVERMORE!

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Filed under End Credit, I'm Just Saying !

Kim Jong Unny Not so Happy Birthday

Meet the fuckers!

Oh no, seems Dear Leader’s son, Kim Jong-Un, will be getting less birthday pressies this year after a train carrying the haul derailed. Of course some bastard sabotaged the friggin train, it couldn’t have possibly have been because of North Korea’s crappy railway tracks. It is believed the presents included expensive watches and TVs. Happy birthday Unny!!!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Kim Jong Il, Well I Never

Guess Who’s Having a Birthday

And it’s a Happy Birthday to Abdelbaset Al-Megrahi the Lockerbie bomber who celebrates his 58th birthday at his Libyan mansion. Shame the 270 people who died over Lockerbie can’t!

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, I'm Just Saying !, Thanks For Nothing, Well I Never