Tag Archives: black magic

Is Voodoo Behind Jason Russell’s Meltdown?

OMG Loons, no need to panic just quite yet but a former member of Kony’s child army is claiming the bizarre behavior by Jason Russell last week is Joseph Kony’s doing. Seems Kony is a master at voodoo and Russell’s out of character behavior wreaks of black magic. Seriously, I didn’t know voodoo travels? Richard Akena, who has been captured 4 times by Kony’s forces as a child,  claims Kony has been using voodoo for years to force children to do his dirty work. Akena is pretty convinced Kony was behind Russell’s meltdown.

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That Old Black Magic

Did you hear something?

If you live in Namibia be on the look out for a dog-pig hybrid creature that is scaring the crap out of the locals. The mutant is described as mostly white, with a doglike head, hairless back and the shoulders of a giant pig. If you see it , RUN!!! One official told the local newspaper “This is an alien animal that the people have not seen before. We don’t have a forest here, only bushes. So, this must be black magic at play.” Yep, must be. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, sleep with one eye open!

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Stepdad Sticks 50 Needles in Boy

You know you are going to hell when you stick over 50 sewing needles into a two year old’s body. Roberto Carlos Magalhaes, the stepfather, has admitted to performing black magic on the child by sticking metal needles into him as a way to get back at his wife of 6 months…oh and because his mistress told him to! Some of the needles which are 5cm (2″) long  are so close to vital organs surgeons will be unable to remove them. Strangely doctors found no outside wounds on the boy though they believe they were inserted one by one and had not been swallowed. The boy remains in a Brazilian hospital in a serious condition.

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Filed under All That Is Wrong With The World, Friggin Wrong, I'm Just Saying !, That's Gotta Hurt, Well I Never