Royal Flush or just Craps

A German casino (and several streets) was evacuated after reports a rubbish bin in the men’s loo was making suspicious ticking and buzzing noises. A bomb squad unit was deployed and several streets surrounding the casino were also evacuated for fear of a kaboom! The whole incident was called off when the special unit discovered the sus device was not a bomb but  …wait for it…. a discarded mechanical penis ring that had its vibration function turned on. Move on, nothing to see here.

You Can Never Be Too Careful

Step away from the suspicious bag . New Yorker Port Authority police were left a little red faced after they discovered a sus silver bag behind a barrier at the George Washington Bridge Bus Station and evacuated the area. Enter the canine unit and explosives experts who determined the offending item was in fact a box full of assorted condoms. As you were, nothing to see here.

May The Alaskan Police Force Be With You

Oh dear, police don’t get out much in Alaska. They called the bomb squad after a resident discovered a strange object along the side of the road. A member of the force with formal Explosive Ordnance Disposal training was dispatched and he was able to identify the object as a plastic Star Wars toy …a light saber to be exact. As if a Jedi would be in Alaska!

Run, It’s About To Blow

A street in California was evacuated after a suspicious object was found in a resident’s mailbox. The bomb squad were called in and tehnicians spent 2 hours examining it before they concluded it was a breast pump. As you were.

Hey Mommy, Look What The Easter Bunny left

Now jump kid, jump!!!

You know what I hate? When a group of little kiddies go on an Easter egg hunt and find a hand grenade. I really friggin hate that! The Somerset Easter hunt was called off when a parent spotted a three year old standing on it. Oh my, what a nightmare, imagine trying to stop an Easter egg hunt! Now that would have ended in tears! Anywho, bomb squad arrived  and blew it up.

Bomb Squad At Rush Limbaugh’s Home

The bomb squad were called to Rush Limbaugh’s Palm Beach home today after a sus package was discovered with “electronic plaque and wires”. The police have already traced the sender, who is from Pennsylvania. They claim there was nothing that could go kaboom! Move on, nothing to see here.

Psst Who would want to blow up Rush?

 

 

Friggin Squatters

Officer I knew nothing about the drugs...nothing!!

You know what I hate? When you find squatters with drugs, a handgun, 10 grenades, and a pig inside your house and you have to call the bomb squad. I really figgin hate that!

Want sauce with that?

Bomb Scare At Detroit McDonalds

McDonald’s patrons were forced to leave their Big Macs and fries and exit stage left after a suspicious looking bottle with wires protruding from it was found in the bathroom of a Detroit store. Staff evacuated everyone fearing it was a bomb and called the cops. The bomb squad was later seen exiting the building with a brown paper bag (Hmm, Maccas to go?). No word on what the suspicious looking object was but I’m guessing it was a bong !

That Could Have Been A Blast

Why is it I never find cool stuff in the crap I buy? Some woman in North Carolina found a live grenade in the drawer of an antique sewing machine she purchased. Yes indeedy, the Seymour Johnson Air force Base Explosive Ordnance Disposal Unit were called in and they confirmed it was a live German grenade from WWI.

Good Vibrations

OK here’s the thing anti terrorist bomb squad experts, sometimes strange ticking noises coming from a parcel at a Russian post office doesn’t  mean bomb. Nope, could be a vibrator. When staff heard strange ticking coming from a package they contacted police who quickly evacuated the building.  The bomb squad were called in and they eventually defused the sex toy by switching it off.  Move on, nothing to see here!